Eridanstuck
by CaptorCrazywithAmporaAttitude
Summary: An innocent Eridan fangirl receives a copy of SBURB in the mail. Her house winds up underwater in her medium of Water and Dreams, and who else to save her than the troll of her dreams? A life of servitude wasn't exactly what Alysen pictured playing SBURB, but who's to say it'll say that way... (self insert\OC)
1. Birthdaystuck

I was bored. Seriously, endlessly, carelessly, bored. And it's my birthday, and being on your thirteenth birthday is just sad and pathetic. Sometimes I wished something exciting and unexpected would happen to entertain me. But, no, can't have that. So I spend countless hours reading and re-reading Homestuck. I picked up my sketch pad and a pencil. I knew who I was going to draw before I could even position my pencil over the paper. My patron troll, Eridan Ampora.

It's almost creepy how he and I are a like. Friendless, no enemies, searching for love that we know we can't find. The poison that is always laces our words, coming off as what most could describe as 'annoying', 'perverted', and 'condescending'. Scorning magic and fairy tales because our hope for them had long since been smashed to dust. One thing that is different though, would be our loneliness. His is a dagger, sharpened by others, and concealed behind glasses and a scarf. Mine is more of a protective blanket, a shield from all my emotions, not allowing me to feel a single thing.

Ever since I stumbled upon Eridan, I obsessed over him like only a girl could a boy. It wasn't too bad in the beginning. A fan-girl fantasy or two, the occasional thought about him. But it got progressively worse. Now all I could dream about was meeting him. I took trips to the aquarium weekly, a sad attempt to try to be somewhat closer to him. I even tried to take on his eccentric typing quirk. I set down the pencil at the soft cries of my face book messenger going off. An ever so rare occasion with only five friends.

Check your mail box.

My eyes narrowed. A Doc Scratch role player sending me a mysterious message didn't fly with me.

No, fuck off. I messaged back.

Eventually you will. Your curiosity will fester and then my dear Jester, of-this user is blocked-

I smirked silently and shut off my computer. Some part of me really wanted to know why I needed to check the mail but another, didn't care in the slightest. I endorsed the one that didn't give a shit. I emerged from my room,still clothed in my fuzziest of pj's, taking a glance out the window. Snowflakes gently eased themselves onto the ground, and dark clouds contently loomed over as they looked down from above. I waved the sight away and traveled down mahogany steps into the living room. My parents were nowhere to be found, as per usual. Gifts neatly stacked in a corner dared my attention not to be grabbed with their neon wrapping paper. My eyes slid to a handwritten note above the crackling fire. Plucking it off it easily, I began to read.

Dear Alyce, You may open your presents in our absence. We won't be home until tomorrow, as we are visiting your uncle. We left your meals in the fridge.  
-Love,  
Your Parents

I crumpled the paper up and tossed it into the fire, watching it burn for a moment. I turned my attention back to the presents. There were three of them, all wrapped in the same eye sight damaging of neon yellow and pink. I collapsed onto the soft carpeting and plucking a gift from the pyramid. Dragging a sharp finger nail across the surface, I tore off my present's disguise deftly. A tablet. I fumbled with its box for a moment then gently lifted it out and set it beside me. I repeated the process twice more, revealing an ultimate hacking guide abridged by my parents plus hacking software, and a hair dying kit with yet another note warning me that I could only partially dye my hair or my dad would kill me.

I traced the out line of the hacking guide, thinking about how odd my parents were. They both were professional hackers, they used to jack people's credit card numbers and bank accounts to swindle innocent people's money back in the day. That's actually how they met. Mom just happened to take some big score five minutes before dear ol' dad tried. He hunted her down for months and months until they bumped into each other at a department store in Nebraska. One thing led to another, which led another thing to me and-well you know how it goes.

My earliest memory was writing a computer program On my fifth birthday was spent prancing around a toy aisle somewhere, pointing at anything I wanted, all paid for by some woman in Virginia Only three years ago did my parents announce they were going straight. As long as 'going straight' implies stealing from mob bosses and criminals instead of regular people off the street. I sighed and scooped up the hacking material and tablet,depositing them inside my room. I slid down the banister in an absolute hurry to dye my hair. I poured over the directions like a priest would the bible. After almost memorizing them, I got down to business.

**-NYAH-**

I could barely resist touching my hair, though I knew it'd rub off onto my fingers. The artificial bright grape against my natural chocolate brown look too perfect. Slicked back, with my new purple bangs, I sorta resembled Eridan. I thought about squealing but then decided against it-I didn't squeal. Anxious for something to do I dashed out of the bathroom in socked feet, slipping and sliding all over the polished hard wood floor.  
I flew down the staircase and out the door. Yanking open the rusted lid of the mail box, I snatched the contense and darted back inside. I dumped the letters and bills onto the marble island of our kitchen and picked through envelopes of something interesting. Even it was from the weird role player, it'd be something to see, to do. All my breath escaped my lungs in a whoosh.  
With shaky hands I gingerly picked it up. The shade of green was recognizable, the symbol unforgettable, and the name was legendary.

SBURB.


	2. Mediumstuck

1st of all holy fucking crap. You guys are AMAZING! I wasn't actually going to continue this, but I checked out your reviews and it really pushed me to pump out this chapter! Oh, and encase you're wondering the **-NYAH-** just signals a time jump so I don't bore you with in between stuff.

A reply to some reveiws:

heavens-condemned-kitsune: (to Phoenix ) I accept this small amount of respect. I don't know why, I just do. And at first I sorta didn't like Eridan but then I realized how HOT his scarf was and now I die of fangirlisms at most pictures of him XD (to Raine) Love how you spell that- Raine. Anyways, Gamzee is my second favorite troll because c'mon. He'S MoThErFuCkInG GaMzEe BrO. :O)  
Kaylee: ERIDAN FANGIRLS: UNITE.  
Liv Tyler: Yes, Eridan is dead but may the medium name be a hint to your first question! Also Alyce is just startin out you know so ::::\ and **YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT WE GUNNA GIVE SOME BITCHES SOME WHALES. BITCHES LOVE WHALES.**

* * *

I, being me, immediately started to flip my shit.

"Ohmygogohmygogohmygogohmygog . OH MY MOTHERFUCKING GOG."I panicked nervously. I dropped the disk to pace and run my fingers through my hair.

"Holy chizznuggets! Should I play it? Of course I shouldn't! Ending the world as I know it. Good plan Aly! Really good fucking plan. I don't have any friends! Could play even if I wanted to! WHICH I DON'T."I assured some imaginary audience.

"But really, how bad could it be? Yeah, I'd destroy the planet I lived a little over decade on, but seriously who would care if I ended it. Worst case scenario; BOOM! Dead. People can't give a shit at all if they're dead! "Then my genius started to show up.

"And I don't need a friend to be my server player if I have two computers to play on. I'll be my own server player! I wonder what my medium will be."I gasped.

"I'LL GET TO MEET ERIDAN."I unleashed a scream to end all screams. That sealed the deal, I was going to play, mass genocide or not. I ran up the stairs at the speed of light before I could die of severe fangirlisms. I powered on my sleek black laptop and my much larger personal computer, which had a decently sized monitor and keyboard. I nervously bite at my thumb nail, the wait was killing me. After an eternity, I was logged on and ready to install SBURB.

I had to hold my hand steady as I pressed the button to open the disk drive. The whir of both the machines seemed deafening, and I held my breath as I laid the disk onto the tray. A perfect fit. I thought my heart stopped beating when the black text box appeared, demanding for a server connection. I licked my lips and hoped for the best, jabbing my finger at the disk drive once again. I silently prayed that this would work, screwing my eyes shut. I heard the whir, but I did not dare open my eyes. I stood absolutely still for another minute before my energy burst out, and my eyes flew open.

Tingles ran up and down my spin and my fingers were like icicles. The disk was out, the game hadn't yet been installed, yet the text box stayed open. I quickly set up the connection, afraid that the window would close if I didn't dodge the time limit cleanly enough. The notes of the installations on both computers left me an ecstasy unrivaled by any earthly substance. The ground beneath me shuddered and quaked, and I dropped onto my stomach, arms over my head, smiling like a madwoman.

The back of my eyelids itched and scratched, and I just had to shut them, though I didn't really want to miss a single thing. The blackness was tempting, the vibrations were lulling, my breathing was slowing. Everything was so warm..so,so warm...

**-NYAH-**

Land Of Water And Dreams.

White and hot, they stood firm throughout my slumber, leaving me to stare at them against the darkness. Suddenly, a spray of clear ocean wiped them away and I woke up in a daze. A small pool of drool had formed near my mouth and I slowly got to my feet. My knees wobbled, and my limbs felt heavy. My head was a ten pound weight attached to my neck. I buckled and my shins slammed to the carpeted floor, I winced at the pain. I glanced out the window. At least the sky was clear today, a nice shade of blue. I admired the colorful swarm of fish flying by.

Wait.

What?

I struggled to stand erect once more, edging my body upwards by gripping the corners of surrounding furniture. I dragged my lead feet across my room to my window. And with the intensified gravity, the risk of a carpet burn was astronomical. I was breathing hard, but eventually I had gotten to the glass pane.  
Tropical fish hurried by, anemones opened and shut with the motion, and eels shot out of brightly colored coral. The blue of what I thought was sky was actually the cerulean of the salt water. White sunlight dappled the sandy ocean floor, moving the spots with the current. Honestly I'd flip my claustrophobic shit if the sight wasn't sorta pretty.

I collapsed back onto my bedroom floor in a sheer fit of laziness. I wormed my way back to my laptop and checked out my house to make sure everything was okay. The downstairs looked like it held up through the earthquakes and what not, so I ventured on to the attic. My parents forbade me to ever go up there, and I knew how severe their punishments could get, so I obeyed. But now they were dead, I had already slept with the fishes, so what harm could it do to sneak a peek.

Chemistry and biology tech and equipment were scattered throughout the room. Test tubes and beakers had been smashed against linoleum tile, making the floor twinkle as if it was made of diamonds. Scuba gear and oxygen tanks lined one wall. The one next to it was littered with butcher paper tacked on, all had outlandish research on them. Another was solidly packed with different kinds of weapons, from pistols to a ball and chains to maces. And in the middle of it all was a large, plexiglass cage holding a fearsome looking creature that convulsed and shook with pain every time it took breath. The sight left me dazed and confused, I didn't know whether to be afraid or sorry for the thing in the cage. I could only pull one clear thought out of the mist and mirrors.

What were my parents doing up there was definitely something to hide from me.


	3. GOGFUCKINGDAMMITstuck

Immortal Suicide42: ii love 2ollux's typing quiirk so ii kiinda sorta diied when ii saw you reviiew!  
ColombianPanda: :D  
heavens-condemned-kitsune: (to both of you) Yeah, sorry that last one made you feel shortchanged :I I just wanted to update as soon as I could for you guys! I hope this chapter isn't too short for you DX  
Scrumptiousness: All I can say is, oopse. XP

* * *

I had to distract myself from the attic situation. I quickly deployed the Totem Lathe, Cruxtruder, Punch Designix, and Alchemiter in the living room so I didn't have to run around so much in this intensified gravity. Of course, now my living room was so cramped I probably couldn't use any of it. Gog damn it. After a few moments of careful rearrangement, there was enough space between everything that I could just barely slide through.

"What should I do now?"I thought aloud. My body buzzed with an energy that it definitly didn't possess a few minutes ago."I could get my kernelsprite, but what would I prototype it with?"A quick glance around my room didn't provide me much inspiration. Something deep inside of me whispered that I should prototype it with the creature. My blood ran cold, I didn't want to mess with it at all, very much less use it as my guide.

"I could alchamize some stuff!"I quickly spat out, not wanting to dwell on the creeature."But what should I make? Something that'd decrease the pressure in here'd be nice.I'd only have to make everything colder though... right?" I racked my brain for that science lesson.

"Why didn't I pay attention?!"I cried out in aggrivation. I fell onto my back, my laptop sliding off my thighs and onto the floor. There had to be an easier way to go about this with out freezing everything in the house. Didn't scuba gear have depressurizers or whatever they are called? If I combined that with the thermostat... I sat back up, replacing my laptop on my crossed knees.

The view port was still fixed onto the attic, but I averted my eyes from the center of the room and clicked on the scuba gear in the corner. I used it was a battering ram and broke the door down. I heard a crash and splintered wood fell right outside my bedroom door. I kept one eye on my display screen, the other on the scuba gear being carried to me by a pixelated green cursor. I set the gear near my side, the cursor disappearing as my finger left the mouse.

I shoved my laptop off of me, and turned to face the gear. Did my parents wear this? What were they doing without my notice? Why didn't they tell me? I took a deep breath, holding it in my lungs for quite some time before exhaling. No. I was going to be professional and handle the matter at hand. I grabbed the nylon material, letting the light dance on it. Why wasn't it my fetch modus working? I furrowed my brow in concentration, then in anger. This was pissing me off big time. I threw the gear over my shoulder, I'd find a different way of getting the code for it.

There was a whoosh of air behind me, causing locks of my hair to flutter in the frosty breeze. A card appeared next to my head then blew away into a stack of icy blue cards neatly stacked in arms reach. A sheet of paper fluttered down, landing on my lap.

"February modus,"I read aloud,"adds one sylladex card for every four items fetched. Items melt if not use within twenty nine days. Every fourteenth item becomes enchanted if possessor of modus plays a role of Heart."I crumpled the paper up to shoot in the small trash can in the corner."Interesting."

I got up, and my legs once again wobbled under the increased weight of my body, but I grabbed my desk chair before they gave away. I gripped the chair until my knuckles were white. I couldn't hold on for much longer, I'd have to come up with some how displace my weight enough that I could get to the living room. An idea hit me, and I crab walked to my bed to test my theory I smiled victoriously, crab walking though my door way. Sure I looked like an idiot, but it was better than crawling everywhere.

To my left were the stairs leading to the living room, and to my right was a hallway that looked like it ended there, but in reality if you turned there'd be stairs that led straight over my room and into the attic. Suppressing a chill in my spine, I carefully side stepped wooden debris making my way to the thermostat. Okay so if I threw something over my shoulder, it'd go into my modus. So, if I used some fancy footwork, I might be able to get it.

I reached out towards the white box reading seventy two degrees and latched on to it. I contorted my arm to get it behind my back, then let go of the 'stat. Cold air kissed the back of my neck and the card appeared. When I turned around, the box was gone, wires hanging hazardously out of the hole in the dry wall. I smirked again, then galloped down the stairs, slamming into the Cruxtruder, unsettling the cap. A kernelsprite flew out, circling me for a few moments before turning towards the ceiling. It took me a few moments to realize what I made my session by not prototyping the sprite earlier. Void.

"SHIT. SHIT. SHIT. SHIT."I yelled, angry at myself for being so motherfucking stupid. I kicked the banister, ignoring the pain in my foot. I slid through the maz of devices to the Punch Designix.  
"Stupid, stupid, stupid." I muttered, reaching out towards the stack. I grabbed th ewhole thing and flipped through, all cards felt like slabs of ice, and by the time I'd gotten the captcha codes, my fingers had turned red from the cold. I snatched up the pre-punched cards and got a dowel taking the tree items to the Totem Lathe. A headache grew as I placed the glassy substance on Alchemiter, a text box appearing over my head as my item appeared.

* * *

Thermostat + SCUBA = Pressure Control.

* * *

I grumbled heatedly as I trudged up the stairs to install the Pressure Control.

The intense weight disappearing off my shoulders did little to ease my irritable mood. I leaned against the wall and contemplated what to do next. A shattering noise erupted overhead and I pushed off the wall, muscles tense. Wood chunks rained down on me, instinctively I threw up my arms to protect my eyes.  
Saliva brushed my cheek, I dropped my forearms to peek at the source. Though I wanted to, I just couldn't shut my eyes. Glass clung to it's scaley limbs like splinters did my hair. It's face twisted and turned to make a hungry smile with the sharpest teeth I've ever seen. Five serrated black claws drooped off of five fingers, a fanned tail thrashed maniacally and its eyes looked human, but ferocious. A scream tugged at my vocal chords, dying to escape, but my lips remained shut. The creature did not show the restrain I did, and it let out a ear drum shattering roar that I wouldn't forget any time soon. It was then that I was certain of my fate.

I was going to die not at the hands of a void session of SBURB, but my parents vengeful creation.


	4. Trollianstuck

Donut Yang: Is it ironic I read this while eating a doughnut XD but thanks for your encouragement it really does push me to update ASAP!  
Immortal Suicide42 : :O so jealous of your keyboard and honestly when gamzee, eridan, and sollux fans review I really wanna give them updates ASAP because gamzee, eridan, and sollux are my favorite boy trolls :D (don't tell karkat or tavros I said that :P equius probably doesn't care what a low blood thinks of him though!)

* * *

The creature leapt down, landing right in front of me. The force of it's descend cause me yo fall. I searched frantically for a weapon while I scurried backwards. I summer saulted into my bedroom, slamming the door shut behind me. My computer suddenly projected a clear message reading "now!". A feature that nobody mentioned to me. My subwoofer errupted into Blue October's Razorblade at a volume that surely could have been heard to the bottom of Mariana's Trench. I clamped my palms over my ears and fell into myself. I screamed bloody murder with the shaking of loose items in my room. "Yeah it is you that I remember in that glowing. It is you that took my first away from me. It is you I set my standards to... to every walk of life." I forced myself to unfurl from the fetal position and start to crawl towards the woofer against the wails of the guitar.

"I haven't met another you since you were with me. A brief bout with a razorblade cut me. I freaked out, thinking people didn't love me."So close, I reached out,tears pouring down my face. Everything I had done was coming at me now. I'd killed seven billion people. My parents didn't love me enough to let go of their secret obsession. My splayed fingers were so close to the dial, but I couldn't quite touch it.  
"I watched closely as the you I knew forgot me. In letting go, I am so proud of what I've done." I flicked my wrist, and the sound died. My door bashed open, the knob knocking me against my head. The creature rushed in, teeth bared and talons raised.  
I looked away, too scared and tired to fight back or even resist. I closed my eyes and whispered a soft prayer. Sharp claws scratched my shoulder, stinging badly. I gritted my teeth and bore it, waiting for the final blow. It lifted me up and I felt my bangs being brushed away from my eyes. I looked up, stilling my breath.  
"Why aren't you killing me?"I asked. It made a grumbling noise deep in its throat, I don't know how, but it was sort of...calming. Using a white scaled palm, it rubbed away my tears, and laid me down on my bed. It gently picked up my laptop and typed something out. I am brother.  
"I don't have a brother."I stated in monotone, hoping that I didn't up set it. The monster shook his head.  
Older brother. 3 years. Parents experiment. They experiment you too. In book upstairs. They know you play SBURB. Planned all.  
A smile faltered on my face, this was some sort of joke. Had to be. A supposedy sixteen year old fish monster couldn't be my brother. My parents never experimented on me, nor could they have planned on me pplaying SBURB. And why would they write it all down in a book anyways?  
Wait here for me. I get book. And with that, he left me. I picked at my cuticles, feeling stupid that I had cried at all. Really stupid. I touched the spot where my door knob had hit me, my fingers came away red. Lovely. I let out a sigh as my laptop suddenly had a nervous break down of sorts. It hummed and hissed, sparks flew, and it started to vibrate off the foot of my bed. I didn't manage to catch it before it crashed to the floor. I gingerly picked it up to inspect the damage.  
Nothing seemed to be broken or out of place, minus all the installation boxes popping up all at once. Blood pooled on my keyboard as my eyes darted from window to window, trying to get a grip on what was happening. My efforts were all in vain as the windows stopped appearing, and a chat log came up. Trollian. I double, triple checked but the name didn't change. It was official, I had Trollian on my computer.

* * *

:twinArmageddons, grimAuxiliatrix, adiosToreador, arsenicCatnip, carcinoGeneticist, apocalypseArisen, gallowsCalibrator, caligulasAquarium, arachnidsGrip, cuttlefishCuller, terminallyCapricious, and centaursTesticle started to troll endenturedJester:

TA: you're 2o lucky ii wasted tiime 2ettiing up thii2 account for you

TA: aradiia'2 been pe2teriing me to make you one siince you 2howed up

GA: Greetings, Endentured Jester

AT: hI,

AC: :33 *ac purrs in excitement of the new arrival*

CG: OH GREAT. ANOTHER PERSON TO FUCK SHIT UP. SHOULD BE WONDERFUL.

AA: hell0

AA: g00d t0 finally meet y0u jester

GC: HURRY UP 4ND TYP3 J3ST3R I W4NN4 T4ST3 YOUR T3XT COLOR

CA: are you a girl or a boy

CA: wwait nevvermind i knoww you wwant to be in a quadrant wwith me either wway

AG: Gosh Eridan ,pushy much?

AG: I dou8t he\she would even consider 8eing in any of your quadrants with that pathetic 8egging.

CC: )(i! 38D

TC: sUp mOtHeRfUcKeR? HoNk :O)

CT: D- Hello.

* * *

Oh fuck... What should I type? And since when could they troll me all at once in a big window? I thought they had to open a memo or something. Urgh, I had to reply. Um...

* * *

EJ: _Am i talking to sollux, kanaya, tavros, nepeta, karkat, aradia, terezi, eridan, vriska, fefari, gamzee, and equius by any chance?_

EJ: _Like the real ones not motherfucking roleplayers _**:/**

EJ: _Its cool if you are but ive been jacked with enough today so._

TA: what the fuck, of cour2e ii'm the real 2ollux diip2hiit.

GA: Yes I Am The "Real" Kanaya.

AT: yEAH, i GUESS I'M THE REAL TAVROS?

AC: :33 yep!

CG: OF COURSE I'M FUCKING KARKAT WHO ELSE WOULD I BE?

AA: it's plausible that i am in fact, the factual aradia 0f which y0u refer t0 yes.

GC: YUM. T4T3E3 LIK3 P4ST4.

CA: wwhy do you need to knoww?

AG: I'm surprised you figured out our names so quick jester!

CC: )(a )(a )(a that's reely silly. Of course I'm Fefari.

CC: What's your blood coral? 38O

TC: SuRe Am BrO, SoRrY To HeAr YoU'vE BeEn MoThEr FuCkInG JaCkEd WiTh. JuSt SlAm A fAyGo BrO.

CT: D- Indeed, I am Equius.

* * *

You know when you just hate some one for no good reason? No matter how hard you try you just can't seem to get along with them. Feferi just so happened to be this person-er, troll, that I hated. No idea why, I just hate her. A lot.

* * *

CG: I THINK I'M WAKING UP.

CT: I'lL CoMe WiTh YoU BrO

:carcinoGeneticist and terminallyCapricious ceased trolling endenturedJester:

EJ: _Wait, waking up? Oh shit, am i in a dream bubble?_

TA: took you long enough two fiigure that one out

EJ:_ Well, fuck. I was informed i was in my medium._

EJ: _Urgh, im such a dipshit!_

TA: Can't argue wiith you on that.

EJ: _Name shouldve been a dead give away. "Land Of Water And Dreams" my ass! And my blood color is information I don't share over chat logs._**  
**

TA: oh 2hiit. Gotta go guy2.

AA: i sh0uld g0 with s0llux.

AC: I'm gunna go take a cat nap

CT: D- I shall take my leave as well.

:twinArmageddons, apocalypseArisen, arsenicCatnip, and centaursTesticle ceased trolling endenturedJester:

EJ:_ Psychics. Once theyre gone no one else wants to stick around._

GC: I KNOW RIGHT.

AG: How'd you know they were psychics Jester?!

AG: Unless you have psychic a8ilities yourself!

AG: 8itchy move Jester.

EJ: _Hate to break it to you but I don't have psychic abilities._

CA: wwhatevver!

AG: Eridan, shut your wind trap before I shut it for you!

AG: I'm starting to get pissed off.

AT: vRISKA, wE SHOULD PROBABLY GET BACK TO WORK,

AG: Ugh, fiiiiiiiine.

:adiosToreador and arachnidsGrip ceased trolling endenturedJester:

GC: EVERYON3 INT3R3STING H4S L3FT. NO OFF3NS3 J3ST3R\F3F4RI.

EJ:_ I honestly dont care terezi _**:\**_ dont know why you even stuck around this long!_

CC: No worries 38)

CA: WWHAT ABOUT ME.

:gallowsCalibrator ceased trolling endenturedJester:


	5. Researchstuck

omg no: holy crap, thanks for pointing those out to me! I guess I got so focused on updating I made the trolls a little bland. Honestly when it comes to other characters' personalities I neglect them all together. In that sense, I'm a shitty writer. But if you could keep pointing out what i'm doing wrong I'd be seriously grateful!  
Thatoneguy: I'm not exactly sure why being in the vocaloid fandome justifies why I'm a self insert writer .-. and yeah I'm just gunna say what I said to omg no, if you could point out my mistakes that would help me A TON cause I sorta suck at the whole personality chizz because when I try to it just doesn't seem to do them justice :\  
Liv Tyler: Yeah the typing quirk is italics, but she also only capatalizes the first letter of the sentence regardless if there is a name in it or otherwise she also doesn't use apostraphes. And her name is Alyce, though I do love Alysen... Maybe I'll change it at some point WONK WONK ;) ;) lol :D

EJ: _So...that was weird..._

EJ: _I guess you guys don't like me very well do you?_ **:P  
**  
GA: Oh No Forgive Our Social Skills We Haven't Spoken With Anyone But Ourselves For A Very Long Time

CC: At least you get to talk to the humans Kanaya, you being glubbing alive 38(

EJ: _Oh, right. Forgot you and eridan were dead. You were both murdered right?  
_  
EJ: _Oh shit, sorry. I dont really have much going on for me in the social department either.  
_  
EJ: _If my logic translates correctly, i don't have anyone in my quadrants.  
_  
EJ: _Which seems pretty legit seeing as how eridan's my patron troll.  
_  
CA: I'm your what now?!

GA: I Am Curious About "Patron Trolls" As Well

CC: Glub!

EJ: _Uh, erm, well you see_

EJ: _My species has twelve constellations right?_

EJ:_ And one constellation is seen at certain times through out our year._

EJ: _And you guys have those symbols for your blood caste system right?_

GA: That Is Correct

EJ: _Your symbols are the constellations._

EJ: _I was born February 6th, under the Aquarius symbol. (Which is a water sign.)_

EJ: _So, since eridan is the troll who has the symbol, he is my patron troll._

EJ: _Yeah I'm not explaining this very well._

EJ:_ I actually dont know all that much about it._

EJ: _Anyway,_

EJ: _Not everyone happens to like their patron troll but_

EJ: _I like eridan_

CC: 38O

GA: That Is Good You Decided To Confess But Was It Really A Good Idea To Announce You Feeling So Publicly

CA: wwhat? Reely?

EJ: _AS MY PATRON TROLL_

EJ: _NOT LIKE, REDROM._

EJ:_ Oh gog i'm making an ass of myself..._

GA: I Think It Is Time To Take My Leave

GA: Farewell Jester

:grimAuxiliatrix ceased trolling endenturedJester:

CC: Yeah this is awkward.

CC: So talk to you later!

:cuttlefishCuller ceased trolling endenturedJester:

:chat mode switched from 'public' to 'private':

CA: um... Bye!

:caligulasAquarium ceased trolling endenturedJester:

* * *

I closed the lid of my laptop, red blood dripping off my chin. I touched my ears, they were really warm, but not as much as my cheeks. Something held a towel to my head and a thick book with a water proofed cover was dropp on top of my lap top. I looked up into the knowing greed eyes of my brother. He twisted the edges of his mouth upwards into an almost comical smile. I mirrored his movement and scooted over to one side of the bed. I patted the blanket, motioning for my brother to join me.  
He blinked a few times in surprise, considering it, then akwardly looked at his tail. I batted my eye lashes and stuck up my lower lip. He rolled his eyes at my ridiculousness and his tail started to retracted into his backside. My mouth hung open on its hinges as he settled in beside me. He smiled once more, large pointy teeth now small and humanoid. I squinted at him accusingly and he stuck out a forked tounge in reply. I shook my head at how human he looked now that the teeth and tail were gone. He was still bald and scaley though. I opened the book, gazing at the first page for a long time.

* * *

I suppose it's time to officially quit hacking. The profession has left me and my husband with more wealth then we could spend. We decided to indulge, what other's would call "strange" hobbies. It is I who stepped up to log our experiments progress, in failure or success.

* * *

What did she mean by "in failure or success"? I scowled at the page, and my brother plucked the book out of my hands and flipped through pages, scanning them for something. I stared out the window as I waited, wondering when I'd get to explore my medium. I cringed. No this was a dream bubble. I didn't have a medium. If it was a dream bubble, why hasn't anything shifted? Maybe I broke it somehow? Could someone break a dream bubble? A heavy weight was replaced on my thighs, placing my attention back to my parents' research. Two pictures had been paper clipped onto the displayed pages, one of my brother branded with SUCCESS in red ink and the other of me on the first day of the school year labeled FAILURE in purple ink.

* * *

Title: Amphibious Mutant  
Start: March 21st (Aries)  
Finish: -information unavailable-  
Description: Evolution of human genetics, further the exploration of undersea surfaces.  
SBURB Title: Theif of Mind\ Rouge of Blood  
NOT OBTAINED, NO FURTHER INFORMATION

Title: Attraction  
Start: February 6th (Aquarius)  
Finish: -February 7th after thirteen years of age-  
Description: No description, failed atempt  
NO PLANS OF SEND OFF TO SBURB. NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO PLAY.

* * *

"Not good enough? Not GOOD enough?!" I screeched, chucking the book against my closet, jarring loose more than a few pages.

"THEY were the reason I have no friends! THEY were why I couldn't get a boy to look twice at me! And all along they were going to off me tomorrow?! What exactly were they going to do the day after? OH YOU KNOW OUR DAUGHTER, THE ONE WE EXPERIMENTED ON AND LABELED A FAILURE AND KILLED? YEAH? SHOULD WE BURY HERE SIX OR TEN FEET UNDER? SILLY ME I FORGOT TO ASK HOW YOU LIKE YOUR GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING COFFEE. HOW RUDE."

My fists shook, ready to take a swing at anything that my rage saw fit. I jumped over my brother, who caught me by my leg. I twisted and writhed and wiggled, screaming for him to leave me alone. Seeing as that was no use, I started to punch at the carpet repeatedly. Tears welled in my eyes and threaten to fall, my knuckles started to sting from the carpet burn. I slumped against the ground, my energy depleated. Bro pulled me back up onto the bed and held me against his chest. He started to pet my hair and make sort of purring noises as my body shuddered with sobs. He held me in embrace for a long time, even after I had stopped shaking with tears and snot pouring out.

"You know what the absolute worst thing is?"I asked him, pulling away."All those years, when no one else was by my side, turns out the two who should have been, were just putting on a show. Now that I think about it, it's hilarious how much they tried to keep it a secret. Giving me gifts, taking me on trips, just like they loved me. Hilarious."I repeated, rubbing away the wetness with my forearm.

"Hope they thought it was as funny as I do. I had always thought that I was pretty funny. Turns out the real jesters were the ones who hid their failure from their own failure. How ironic."


	6. Peixesstuck

omg no: Oh yeah your advice was really helpful! I'm hoping to get an editor soon, so maybe the trolls will becomes more... trollish? I guess? But there isn't a set date\ person for editing yet so sorry if I have to keep annoying you with all my errors "^-^  
Please. Stop: Oh stating your opinion isn't rude at all! But you see, to become a better writer, you must practice. Which means I have to write, so I am not going to scrape this story, but after a while I am going to take a break. I was thinking I might take January off and then come back to this and then edit and improve the story myself. By then I sincerely hope that my stories are better to your liking! :D  
shenza monchenso: thank you so much!  
Guest: Of course you can! Sadly this chapter is **WAY WAY WAY** shorter than the others but the next is going to be super busy I promise :3

* * *

With a change of clothes and a clean face, Brother and I decided it was a good idea to create some stuff to keep my mind off of things. Speakers pounding out music, I collected more and more things in my sylladex for their captcha codes. A thick, neat stack of bright red prepunched cards stood temptingly by my brother's side. I rubbed my hands together in anticipation, let the games begin.

* * *

Computer + Laptop = Dual Computing Device

Dual Computing Device + Tablet = Mobile Dual Computing Device with Sliding Screens

Mobile Dual Computing Device with Sliding Screens + Space Bag = Waterproof Mobile Dual Computing Device with Sliding Screens

Hacking Guide + Hacking Equipment = Hacker's Glory

Hacker's Glory + Reasearch Book = Ultimate Hacker's Glory Ultimate Hacker's Glory + Waterproof Mobile Dual Computing Device with Sliding Screens = Super

Computer Super Computer + Modem= Ultimate Computer

Oxygen + Can of Pepsi = Pepsi Flavored Oxygen

Pepsi Flavored Oxygen + Plant = Recycling Pepsi Oxygen

SCUBA Mask + Contacts = SCUBA Contacts

Automatic Hand Gun Kind + Crossbow Kind= Arrow-Firing Gun Kind

Tranquilizors + Arrows = Tranqarrow Kind

Poison + Arrows = Poison Arrow Kind

Net + Arrows = Knitting Needle Kind

Smoke Pellets + Arrows = Smoke Arrow Kind

Boat Propeller + Arrows = Propeller Arrow Kind

* * *

The saltwater outside was now burning oranges, pinks, and yellows. This didn't seem to bother the fish, who kept swimming like nothing change. But I, on the other hand, was thankful that the noise of the city wasn't present to disturb me. My unprotoyped kernelsprite was still floating around, completely energized and read to go. I stashed all my new stuff on the couch and beside the Punch Designix, too tired to actually put any of it away. I rested my head against the cool metal of the Cruxtruder, yawning loudly.  
I was sure I was hallucinating when I heard the gentle ding of my door bell, Bro went to answer it as a joke. I was too exhausted to tell him that I didn't have gills like he did and probably would survive if the house flooded. His scaley hand turned the gold finished knob, sharp teeth extended to their full length and grinning like someone told him he won the lottery. The door flew open.

"So you are the guys who have their music up too loud."And then, a slicing noise. Three golden prongs of a trident were poking out of the back side of my brother's torso. I snapped to attention, fingers already loading my gun with an poisoned arrow.

"Won't happen again I see." Floor boards creaked, and I heard water sopping onto them. I was low to the ground, back against the tube of the Cruxtruder. I turned my head ever so slightly to the right to reveal a troll. I reconized the twin braids instantaneously, Meenah. I narrowed my eyes and swung around the main tube of the large device. With out warning, I took a shot, reloading without checking to see if I hit my target.

Turns out, I'd hit her square in the ribs. I skirted around the Alchemiter, nudging her wet corpse with my foot. Damn, that poison acted as a door knob. This wasn't my ideal way of making a first impression, but a Peixes was not a kind troll I wanted to make a good impression on anyways.  
With two swift kicks, the dead troll descended a few meters, settling on the soft ocean floor. My eyelids were once again heavy, my breathing slow. There was a flash of light, my brother's corpse began to rise. I was fighting for my conscious being, but the need for sleep was too strong. I collapsed onto the floor, and a sharp pain was felt in my head. That was the last thing I remembered before falling into a deep purple world.


	7. Bedstuck

MetaGiga: We have the same sense of humor, I laughed when I thought of the scene but apparently randomly laughing in public is considered "insane".  
Immortal Suicide42: yeah, I guess you are right D: but I'm just so LAZZYYYY. But okay, just for you I'll make them longer :3 It'll take some time to update though.  
darkgirl43255: d'awwww thanks :D  
Liv Tyler: She is going to hack SOMETHING but sadly that's gunna be a little later in the story. I would've put in a longer fight scene but c'mon, got shot through the heart with a poisoned arrow! If that's not a quick death then idk what is :P and AWWWWW CRAP. STUPID FISH. Y U FLOAT WHEN DIE.

* * *

"Hurry! Catch her!"

"The Jester has awoken!"

"The Jester broke out of jail!"

"Call for Jack!"

"Kill her on sight!"

Black skinned carapaces lined streets, roads, and the central square. I smiled with joy at all the fun I had already had on Derse. I woke up in a filthy jail cell, stained with blood and littered with bodies. Playing games with a bored jail guard Playing led to gambling. He had bet small things at first, meaningless trinkets, buttons from his uniform, and a funny looking hat. But his frustration and blind rage amplified the goods. Secret passage ways, places where even the queen could not step foot. Once I kept pushing and pushing giving meaningless clues to a question that he couldn't possibly have answered confidently from the wrong side of the door. Eventually he broke, clearly toeing the line of insanity, he promised anything as long I could give him the answer to my question.  
Anything? I asked. Anything at all? His blubbering reply was incomprehensible, but it didn't matter. The guard open the iron door and I pranced down the hallway, wearing his hat as a trophy.  
"Wait! Answer your question!"He called, ever so desperate.  
"What question?"I called back, breaking down into hysterics at his tears. Of course I remembered the question, but it was really a statement. With the right tone of voice, and the insistence that someone's wrong, 'my hair is brown' is most definitely a powerful tool to toy with someone's mind.

As my deadly game of hide-and-go-seek progressed, the amount tears spilled increased twice as fast. I had a time here, a small timer on my wrist slowly counted to zero. I had created a haven of chaos for me to play in, but I had no more time left in it. My name was now widely known, I had pushed even the queen herself to try her luck at finding me. There was no more safety in my playground, and when I woke up, I would surely been killed.  
So in my last hours, instead of reaping the riches of my entertainment, I had to listen to bits and pieces of information the carapaces on the whereabouts of my quest bed, and the fastest way to get there. Alas, my efforts only broke my toys more quickly, and the information was incredibly shady. Not to be trusted was plastered all over their cries. This was the reason I was cramming myself into a hollowed chain link that connected Derse's moon to Derse. I closed the hatch and enveloped in the darkness, I awoke.

* * *

My breathing was hard, and my vision was hazy. I couldn't remember a moment of my dream, all I knew was where my quest bed was and that I had a very limited time frame to find it in. My throat felt scratchy, like I had been screaming for a long time. My face was wet with tears. I rolled onto my side, I had somehow been carried to my bed. I groaned and sat up, rubbing my temples. My head was killing me.

"Alyce?"A gravely, deep voice, called."Alyce!" Green scales, see through like glass, wrapped around me. I stiffened, not exactly reconizing the man hugging me til he stepped back.

"Bro?"I asked."Weren't you...?"

"Dead? Yeah. But the circily thing, your sprite flew up and poof! Here I am! Ah it's so good to actually talk to you like this! It was so frustrating before-before I died."I smiled with a soft, empathetic joy for him.

"Yeah... Hey, um, this is gunna be sorta awkward since, you know we've been talking for awhile now... But, anyway, what's your name? Can't call you bro forever you know."

"A really, really long number that our parents' give me. Hey! We should change our names! Oh, what's a good name? Um... uh... Oh! I know, Jesse. I like that name. My name is Jesse! Are you going to keep Alyce?"

"Well, I guess I should pick something close to that... How about Alysen? Is that good?" Jesse picked me up and twirled me in the air.

"Of course! That's fantastic!"He laughed, I smiled in reply. Jesse put me down, expression turning serious.

"Oh I almost forgot to mention-you don't have a void session. Not at all!"I stood slack-jawed.

"How?"

"You never synced up your laptop to your computer. Don't worry, I went ahead and did it on your ultimate computer. If you could give me your laptop, I could be your server player so you don't have to be your own server player twice."

"Right, right." I snatched the blue stack of icy cards floating above my head and shuffled through them, searching for my laptop. Once I found it, I handed it over and replaced the stack, letting it hover once more.

"I need to find my quest bed, so I'm going to jump through the first gate."

"How are you going to find it? Do you know where it is already?"

"Strangely... Yes. I do actually know for a rock solid fact where it is. But, for some reason, it feels like I have a really limited time to get it. So, I really need to get going."

"Okay, can I go with you?"

"I wouldn't leave without. One more thing, I need you to find the quiver that the arrows were in, a gun holster, and I'll find some elastic. I'm going to need some sort of belt to hook the arrows and cross bow gun thing onto. I'm also going to be changing into a swim suit and since you sorta broke my door, I'll be in the bathroom."

"Heh, right... Sorry about that."

"No problem, just find the quiver and the holster for me and you are forgiven."

**-NYAH-**

I pulled the tight fitting Quiver and Holster Elastic Belt over my super short swim shorts, holster on my hip and quiver on the back on my left thigh. I carefully slid two poison arrows, three tranqarrows, a smoke arrow, and a propeller arrow into the ten slots provided in the quiver. My goggle contacts were in and I had an aluminum can in hand, ready to go.

"Hurry up Jesse, we don't have much time."I said, turning to face my brother who was riffling through the numerous things I had created with the Alchamiter.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."My brother said, waving my comment off."Okay, I found it."He held up my water proofed Ultimate Computer.

"Why would we even-"

"Sh, no questions! I thought you wanted to get going!" I rolled my eyes and opened up a can of Pepsi Flavored Oxygen and threw my head back. I breathed it all in, my lungs filling with the substance. I closed my mouth and set the can down. Several tense minutes passed by, my chest stopped moving up and down, I felt no need to exhale. I gave Jesse a thumbs up, he mirrored my movement. My hand rested on the knob and I licked my lips. Shutting my eyes, I threw open the door, expecting cold sea water to rush towards me. But none came, a semi-solid wall of water stood waiting for me. All I needed to do was take three steps forward. Bracing myself for the unknown, I threw myself at the salty sea water.

My body was suspended in the water, my hair swirled around in the current. I didn't feel cold, just comfortably warm. Alternian marine life swam about, and Meenah's body had disappeared. Something that looked like a cross between a clown fish and a jelly fish swam by. I reached out and poked at it's soft, velvety skin. It stopped swimming immediately rising up. My eyebrows shot up, and a frown stuck itself crookedly on my lips. Jesse motioned me to give the fish to him to eat, which I did gladly. There was a burst of light, and my brother looked more translucent then he already was, and white striped painted his back. My hand flew over my mouth, hiding a smile, but it was too late. My brother swam after me like a mad man and I darted in a serpentine style as he rocketed past me. My smile widened as I propulsed myself at a circle with the SBURB logo on it glowing a dark purple.


	8. Prisonstuck

MetaGiga: O-O I MUST PREPARE FOR THIS. haha :)  
butterflykrp2: Epic sound affects bro :D and with all these reviews how can i not?! :D  
Donut Yang: XD thanks (sadly, I don't have any doughnuts right now so I'll put a bunch of sugar on a bagel and call it irony XD)  
Guest: ~(o3o~) magic. Only explanation. Or science as some trolls prefer it. ;)  
darkgirl43255: I know right!  
Kaylee: Hells yes :D  
Immortal Suicide42: yeah master yorgi is actually what got me interested in homestuck! I couldn't stop watching Son Of Ask Gamzee I loved it so much! Then I saw eridan and... honestly I didn't know how to squeal until I found Eridan '.-. I'm serious bro this is no lie.

* * *

We arrived somewhere where no exotic fish existed. Dangerous dark shapes loomed on the horizon, and large, sand dunes littered the ocean floor. Jesse and I climbed over blackened coral and in between rocks in such a dark hue any one would have thought them the night sky. Sand seeped through the gaps in my toes as we crossed great stretches of nothingness. The water around me brightened orange, then purple, then navy.

My legs and arms were nicked and scratched. My fingers and toes were now prunes. Every nerve in my body screamed for my to stop. I ignored their pleas, knowing that I was so, so close to the bed. I was on the verge of giving up when, in the distance, I saw a rock. Not just any rock, but a yellowed rock, a perfectly rectangular rock. One might even call it's shape, bed like. Hope rose in my throat, I scissor kicked like no tomorrow my arms were a blur. I dove for it, twisting onto my back before I landed. I slipped over, pushing off the bed to check the symbol on it. A music note. Now all that remained to do was...die.

Now that the task was staring me down, could I really take my own life? I glanced at Jesse, who had dropped a few feet back, giving me some room. I guess I could ask him to do it. No, my brother, who already I was so dear to, would never kill me. I wasn't even sure how I'd ask him to. I took the gun of of my holster. Even if I found the will to, I had three choices. By gun, by drowning, or by dehydration\starvation.

The last one was immediately out-too painful, too time consuming. Drowning was debatable. I had almost drowned several times before, but that wouldn't make it any more easy to do willingly. The gun, it would be quick sure, but I'd pay back the time I'd save with pain. But what if I used the tranqarrow? I wouldn't feel anything, but I couldn't be sure if the tranquilizer could act quick enough. But if I shot my leg, then I'd fall asleep, and right before I could exhale all the oxygen... I nodded. No pain, and not a lot of time would be wasted. Instant God Tier, right?

I laid back down hesitantly I squirmed and wiggled, trying to get comfortable. Suddenly, Jesse was next to me, laying my Ultimate Computer right on top of me. A song trickled out, one I knew well. Ugly Story, a fan made Eridan Ampora fan song It was probably the most depressing song that I have ever heard. That song kicked me in my feels every time. I fastened it under my belt and pulled out a tranqarrow.

My brother grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight. His tears were instantly absorbed into the sea. I stared right at him, the gun jerking back in my hand. Jesse's face swirled til I couldn't see him anymore. Slowly, like a snake strangling its prey,blackness seeped into my vision. I forced the oxygen out of my lungs, inhaling bitter, salty water. My body jerked and writhed, desperate for life, though I had made up my mind already. Jesse leaned down to my still face, lips touching my cheek and whispering "I love you". But my life had already been taken with the change in the current.

* * *

-NYAH-

* * *

My hand was taken my an angel. An angel of color and of hue. We were finding the prince, it was my job to protect the prince. The prince would take care of me. I had to promise to protect him. I had to promise not to give up, to not lose to the jester. The jester would try to ruin things, but I mustn't let her.

I promise to protect the prince.

I promise to serve the prince.

I promise to love the prince.

* * *

-NYAH-

* * *

I woke up on a flimsy mattress, in a molding room. An rusty iron door stood oppressively on the opposite side of the room. I slowly gathered my wits, and walked over to it, yanking on the handle with all my might. It didn't budge. It was locked. I sat back down on the mattress, pulling my knees in close. I knew I should have been scared, but somehow, I felt like I belonged here, like I was safe from harm.

* * *

-NYAH-

* * *

Three days past, my stomach felt like it was collapsing in on itself from hunger, my throat was a desert. My hair was filled with springy curls and sea salt. Oil from four days without washing made it slick and shiny it did the same to my face. Something dark purple stained my white shorts and top a nice grapey color. I was in no shape for receiving visitors. Yet, the rusty iron door to my cage opened. My heart stopped beating, I was absolutly positive it did. Horns in shape of lightning bolts protruded from thick, wavy black hair. The purple streak in it put my bangs to shame. Two, jagged scars ran crookedly across the length of his face. A worn out cape flowed down his back, stopping an equally worn out pair of purple and black striped leather pants. I gulped, though there was nothing to swallow.

"Dual scar?"My vocal chords creaked.

"Aye, girlie, that's me."He confirmed in a rumbling, low voice.

"Why am I here? If I may ask."I hastily added, sitting on my exposed legs, eager for answers.

"Eridan found you floating around, an arrow stuck in yer leg. Probably would've been aten up by a water beast what with all your pretty purple blood everywhere."

"My blood isn't purple."I informed him.

"Sea does weird things to ya girlie." Was his only explanation.

"Why was I locked up in here? I mean, I don't mind of course but-"I sighed, realizing that I was starting to ramble."Never mind, I just want to know why I'm in a dank old cell."

"A mysterious lightly armed girl, wounded, sleeping with the fishes with no gills on her, half dressed, while a dream bubble's gone stable? You tell me."

"...Good point. So I guess you took my stuff correct? Nothing better be broken or I swear to god-"

"Your things are fine lass."

"Good. So what are you going to do with me?"

"It's up to Eridan, he found ye, he gets to decide. You've got very limited options, A, he lets you die or B, he employs ye."

"As what?"

"Possibilities are endless, I'm afraid you'll just have to trust him." I instantly thought of my parents.

"Trust isn't something I can easily give right now." I replied, words poisonous to the touch.

"Guess that's your problem, aye lass?" And then the door slammed shut once more.


	9. Questionstuck

bluelanterns: AWWWW YEAH :D  
Donut Yang : thank you C:  
butterflykrp2 : YES. MARVEL AT MY MAD WRITING SKILLZZZZ XD

* * *

My insides tied themselves in worried knots. Sure, I had answers now, but they weren't exactly the comforting type. And what about my brother? Why did he leave me all alone? Where was he now? He handed me the same betrayal on a silver platter as my parents had. Lying then abandoning me like I was just another kid on the street. Why did all my relationships though few in number, all end in betrayal? I was getting pretty sick and tired of it all. I couldn't help but wonder if Eridan, on the circumstances he let me live, would do the same.

I was just another land dweller, lost and alone in the cold depths of Alternian sea. Nothing about me really grabbed anyone's attention. I dressed in muted or nuetral colors. My figure was okay, not skinny but not quite big enough to be called fat. Personality wise I was the equivalent of a rock. The only thing that most people would remember me by was my nick-name "Tits McGee". In the end all I had was boobs and brains.

I thought about my school life. Nerd, bimbo, stephan hawkings whore, eintsteins prostitute. My eyes teared at the other cruel labels and names. I was not accepted, what I wore was not accepted, my ideas were not accepted Teachers tried their best, but you could see their disdain hidden in their eyes. I used to raise my hand in class, I used to give answers loud and clear. But my words were judged, my mistakes were carved deftley into stone while my accomplishments went unnoticed or unappreciated.

And it was their fault. All of my suffering and betrayal were because of them. They tried to play god, tried to rewrite the stories of other's existence Why they didn't try as much at being good people, good _parents_, would remain a mystery to me. Even if it was explained a thousand times over to me I'd never see it as a solid reason, it'd only be an excuse. The tumblers of the lock moaned and I wiped away my tears fast, rising clumsily to my feet. The door swung open and my troubles were quickly forgotten.

The sight of him was intoxicating Small, fragile scales were etched onto light grey skin by a master artistian. Black, cat like pupils against a back drop of darkened yellow coyly hid behind rectangular frames. Stripes of navy blue and amethyst were draped around his neck. Small fins eased away from both sides of his head. Two orange and yellow jagged horns sprouted at a steep angle from messily slicked back hair as black as ink in a ball point pen. Pointed teeth were revealed through his scowl. Various items were held in his arms, all of which, were mine.

"Can you answwer some questions for me?"Eridan asked, gentle and slow like he was talking to a small child. I opened my mouth then closed it once more, I didn't really trust my voice not to squeal or squeak. I looked up, meeting his intense stare, nodding.

"For evvery question you answer for me, I'll givve you some of your stuff back."I nodded again, showing that I understood the exchange.

"Do you knoww anyfish going by the name endenturedJester?"

"Yes."I answered quietly, watching in silence as Eridan set an arrow, bloodied purple and red, next to his foot closest to the door.

"Is it a buoy or gill?" I relaxed a little more at the bad fish puns.

"Gill."I said. Another arrow was by the bloodied one. Eridan took another cautious step forward, like he was nervous as well. That's when it hit me: Eridan had never really gotten to interact with the humans. He didn't know that I meant no harm to him.

"I would never hurt you. Ever."I stated with confidence.

"Wwhy should I believve you?"Eridan asked, surprised that I had caught on so quickly.

"I don't know, but you're the prince of hope right?"I asked."Maybe you should have a little more faith in people."

"Howw did you knoww that?!"Eridan demanded, a tint of purple rising to his face. So. Adorable.

"Oh I know lots of things, for the right price."I offered, pointing at my stuff."One item per answer right? You owe me one item now. I'll open a tab."

"Wwhat if I havve more questions than items?"

"Then you'll have to pay in something else. That's two! You're really falling into debt aren't you?"I asked, cocking my head to the side. Eridan reluctantly handed over two more arrows.

"Are you endenturedJester?"

"Shore am."

"Howw'd you get here?"

"SBURB, this is my medium remember?"

"Do you have a house?"

"Yes, but I don't know where it is sadly. I jumped through the first gate without really thinking."

"Howw long havve you been here?"

"Five days."

"Wwhy has the dream bubble gone stable?"

"No idea. Probably the same reason there's been no imps or giants or whatever and why my stuff didn't cost any grist."

"Howw much do you knoww about me?"

"Well, that's sort of relative. I know you killed Fefari and beat Sollux in a fight then Kanaya sliced you in half with a chainsaw."

"That's...sorta creepy."

"I'm a fangirl, what can I say? Anyways, anymore questions?"I asked, gripping eight arrows in my left hand.

"You knoww so much about me, so I wwant to knoww about you."

"Oh, um, like what?"

"Do you havve any moirails?"

"No."

"Kismesis?"

"Non mon ami."

"Auspistices?"

"Nope."

"...Matesprit?"

"No, totally available." I thumped onto the mattress, ten arrows in hand, quiver and holster on my arm. I started to slid the pointy projectiles back into their slots, waiting for Eridan's next question. I actually didn't think he'd be this...easy to talk to. And he was so serious, it'd mean the whole ocean to me if he laughed or smiled. I looked up at him, pacing the length of the room. Probably thinking of more questions or something. Eridan stopped for a moment, catching me staring at him. I blushed and kept reequipping my quiver with arrows.

"Do you..want to stay here?"

"Seeing as how I'm practicly homeless now yeah, sure why not?"

"Would you stay as a servant? Any self respecting high blood has a servant."

"Yeah, I guess. Sounds okay to me."He tossed me the Ultimate computer."That was two answers."I reminded him.

"I gavve you twwo things."Eridan insisted, opening the door. A slam echoed as I looked down at my hands, blinking in surprise. Wrapped around the computer was a choker style necklace, with a dark purple sprite charm on it. As soon as my fingertips brushed the smooth surface, a familiar figure materialized before me.

"Man, I thought you'd never call for me."


	10. Amporastuck

darkgirl43255: haha i know right - - :P  
butterflykrp2: I accept that luck, and you're welcome! Honestly I'd be no where without your guys's reviews. They just make me want to write more and more which is why I'm updatin so quickly :)  
Sweden's husband: Thank you! Love your user name by the way. Sweden's amazing:3

* * *

Relief relaxed my body, he hadn't abandoned me at all. I smiled and hugged him tightly.

"I thought you had left."I whispered.  
"Ha, like I could! You're so needy."Jesse teased, poking the end of my nose. I glared, but still smiled at him. I quickly explained what had happened with lots of unneeded hand gestures.

"I leave for a few days and you get yourself throw into jail. Typical."Jesse said, resting a clawed hand onto my head."The good thing is that with that weird ass fish you prototyped me with, I now know where the house is and how to get to it. It'll take a few days to get there though, I'll bring back some more of that Pepsi oxygen for you so that you can come back. It'll just...take some time is all. A week at least." I rested a hand on his shoulder.

"Do you promise, really, truly promise, that you **will** come back for me?"I asked, searching his eyes.

"I really, truly promise that I **will** come back for you. Just don't die when I'm gone."And then he was gone. No light, no fairy dust, no poof, just disappeared like a ghost. I laid back down on the springs and foam, staring up at a bleak stone ceiling. My stomach unleashed a roar, grimacing, I put a hand over it in hopes of silencing it. It continued it's protests for food through my splayed fingers. I grabbed the Ultimate Computer, sliding out the top screen to reveal another thin screen beneath it. The two screens fused together to become one, large monitor.

My fingers flew over the screen in a series of taps, slides, and flourishes. I opened up "My Computer", curious to see how much the memory had gone up. I had combined three computers into one after all. I had 286 GB before but the number had tripled to 710 gigs. I smiled, content with myself, and closed the window to open another, My Music. I clicked on the nearest playlist, a nightcored version of Bittersweet bounced out of unseen speakers. I swayed my head to the quickened beat, opening up the Trollian icon on my desktop.

Forty-six differently colored lines ran verticly, side by side on the screen. Forty six usernames were listed, colors corresponding to their respective lines. Running through the names, I suddenly knew what and who they were. I bit my thumbnail, thought for a moment and left clicked on the black back crop. I clicked the "hack" option. My fingers were a blur and I striped and replaced different commands and programs.

The list became eighteen names lighter as soon as I blocked and deleted all the kids, living trolls, and others that I just never really wanted an encounter with. Then, on a second thought, I also deleted the Ancestors. How ever tempting the conversation with the Grand Highblood would be, I didn't want to have it. Only sixteen names were left. The door burst open just as I closed Trollian. I peeked through my bangs at Dual Scar, holding the door open.

"C'mon girlie, there's some good new for ye." I cautiously rose, looping the holster and quiver around my arm before exiting the cell.

"I guess I'm not dying today right?"I asked, shutting off the Ultimate Computer.

"Not today, girlie, not today."

"Sooo, where are you taking me?"

"You'll find out."

"Wow, that was so specific that I just died a little on the inside."Needless to say, the conversation died there. Completely bored, I took in my surroundings. Closed rusty iron doors turned into slightly open iron doors, which turned into doorways revealing fancy looking rooms. We passed a clean library, two paper ridden studies, three disastrous looking entertainment halls and an spotless observation deck. Dual Scar suddenly stopped and I caught myself from running into his back.

"Here we are, we need ye to cook some dinner for us."He pointed at a room, I followed his grey finger to a kitchen covered in filth.

"I'm supposed to _cook_ in there? Oh, cod, what's that smell?"I asked, covering my nose and mouth from an undefinable stench.

"It's actually a lot of things, but fish mostly. Good luck to ye." Are you kidding me? I thought, looking from Dual Scar's retreating back to the kitchen with lament. How was I even supposed to get in?

Bones, rotting past dinners, and a brown ooze made ravel impossible I scanned for trash bags anywhere, only finding an insiderator. Good enough. I shuddered and pulled and arrow from my quiver. I stabbed at several dead fish carcasses and pushing up the lid to the insiderator, I slid them off. I hate my life. So god damn much.

**-NYAH-**

Wiping up the last of the sticky brown slime off the ground, I wiped the sweat off my red hot cheek. I got off the iron floor to splash frosty water onto my face. I washed my hands and opened up what looked like a fridge. I picked out two large fish and smack them down onto a cutting board. Slicing the bellies open, I cut out what didn't look edible and set them aside.

"You havven't evven started cooking dinner yet?"

"Chill little bro, wve hawven't been able to step foot in here since forevwer." And, of course, my intestines decided to have a little concert at that exact moment. My face heated up even more and I was almost certain I was developing some sort of fever. As stage five fatigue was starting to settle in, I had to set down the knife and clutched the counter. My breathing became shallow as I fought for my conscious being. A soothingly cold hand found my shoulder.

"Are you okay?"He sounded so faraway."I thought you said her blood wvas purple."It whispered. Cronus? I squeezed my eyes shut then resumed my work.

"It wwas purple!"Eridan insisted.

"I'm fine."Eridan rolled his eyes at me.

"Land dwwellwers."He said, like that explained my behavior."I should'vve krilled them all wwhen I had the chance."

"I said I felt fine."I rummaged around the cupboard for a pan, shaking off the grey hand on my shoulder. My vision became to wobble. I gripped the counter once more using one hand, the other start to fumble for my computer.I lifted up my swim top a little to pull it out form the waist band of my shorts. I received a nearly inaudible whistle from who I assumed was Cronus. My knees were just about to give away when "Wide Awake" by Katey Perry started to play. My vision began to stabilize and I wondered when I turned on the computer at all. My tiredness slipped away, though my fever didn't. I let out a relieved breath and continued to make dinner. A few minutes wormed by, and I had thought both Ampora boys had disappeared with them.

"Sorry about Eridan, he's not as...experienced as I am." Cronus said, sort of invading my personal space so I could smell the nicotine on his breath. Guess I thought wrong.

"Really? I thought you didn't have anyone in your quadrants either."I said coolly.

"Haha! You got me!"He exclaimed after a few surprised moments."So are you a psychic or somefin?"

"My species doesn't really have those."I said, turning my back on him.

"You shore? They seem to havwe plenty of gorgeous gills. A psychic or two doesn't seem too far off."A headache began to form in the front of my brain. I cut the fishes into two and set them onto plates. I took two of them and hurried out of the kitchen, almost running into Dual Scar. I handed him his plate then stumbled down the corridor. My fatigue had returned five times over and I wasn't going to last long. I ducked quickly into the observation deck, gently closing the door behind me. The ground came at me and I heard the plate clatter. I tucked my long legs into my chest as the world turned a seering black.


	11. Glowstuck

**I congratulate you guys, I had so many reviews I spaced them out this time (I feel so loved)  
**  
Liv Tyler: Heh, I think this chapter sort of reveals how the angel was involved in Eridan's finding her. (Sorry for steal your angel bro I just thought I'd reward you for sticking with me through this :) ) o-o HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED THIS D"X seriously HOW. T^T Oh well I'll pull an explanation out of my hat-...I got nothin'. Nor do I have a hat. (note to self get hat for explanations)

butterflykrp2: lol its okay I hope you like the new chapter :D

InvaderXJadeXUchiha: O-O seriously I must be spacing out or something to miss this (pun intended TROLOLOLOL (yet another pun XD))

Donut Yang: lol XD C: I might forget important details, but I rock at cliff hangers (seriously? This is like.. my 3rd pun. Something's wrong with me)

omgno: :D glad to see you are still reveiwing! And the way I thought about it if they are in his mouth so much wouldn't the smell\taste\whatever would still sort of stick to him exclusively because I actually did pay attention to that aspect, hence not mentioning any smokey or smokey scents laying around the Ampora sub\ship\whateverthefucktheyliveon

Scalpels: OF course I'll take it to heart! I mean that in the most awesome of ways not like,in a bitchy sort of way. I totally see what you mean with the mary-sue stuff! Though for her weapons skills she was like 5 feet away from Meenah when she shot her and, I fucking HATE Meenah SO MUCH. So that probably had something to do with that XD I also tried to make Eridan a bit neutral about the whole thing-he doesn't care all that much, but he's also interested because he's never really interacted much with the humans before :)

Sweden's husband: Thank you so much :D :3

* * *

I woke up in complete darkness, twelve orbs shining different colors surrounded me. Twinklings of notes played by a piano swirled in the still air. I got to my feet and circled the floating globes, exmaining them and wondering what was inside. My fingers drew closer to a mustard yellow orb, the tip of soemthing's tail smack away my hand. I glared up into a faceless human head on top of a snake's body with large feathery wings tuck into themselves. Still glaring I threw up my arms and backed away. The creature nodded and unfurled it's left wing, which it used as a hand to chuck a black book at my chest. My glared heatened, by no will of my own the book opened up to black papyrus paper. Silvery white words scrawled themselves across the page.

* * *

The Jester of Tears is now rampant in your mind. Though the Princess had kept her quiet for a few days, you must find the Serf of Space and the Assassin of Time quickly. The Princess of Sound cannot hold up for much longer.

* * *

I gave it a incredulous look and threw the dark book over my shoulder to show that I didn't believe a songle word of it. Another book appeared in my hands.

* * *

Dying on the Princess' quest bed has a major consequence. You have sacrificed an unawakened dream self, this action will force you to dream in the void. The area around the dream bubbles. You now must protect these bubbles like you life depends on it, Princess. Do not allow the Jester to control you. But a rather sad consequence that you have cause is that you may not remember any of this when you wake up and you cannot become god tier unless a prince falls in love with you. As easy a task as it seems, love is something that you gamble in and you are not the luckiest of people. We angels shall do our best to aid you in your endeavors, an enchantment has long since been placed on you. Now I must fare you a good bye, Princess. The physical world calls for you.

* * *

I heaved myself off the floor, back and shoulder blades aching from the hard surface. I grimaced at the fish I had abandoned to the floor. I plopped back down next to my dinner and ate it begrudgingly, staring out into the black waters of Alternian Sea. Dim lights floated about, most pale in color, like fireflies. Some looked like bioluminescent serpents, some resembled strung out Christmas lights and others were massive bodies of light, awkwardly swimming with their large appendages and fins. I picked up the plate, letting sit in my hands for a moment, too reluctant to abandon the light show. I stared at my reflection in the plate, tucking some dark brown hair behind my ear. I frowned and stood on my own two feet once more.

I eased open the metal door and gently let it close behind me. Any of the dim light bulbs that glowed before were now off and I stumbled over my feet as I made my way to the last doorway to my left-the kitchen I set the plate in the sink with care and picked up my computer. I looked it over, checking for damage, then opened up my homemade program that tracked certain files. Personal ones that contained many secrets with in them. Secrets that'd no one thought I'd harbor even less write down. I sighed with releif that the Amporas didn't stumbled across anything too important, just a few dummy files filled with utter crap. I switched it off and slipped it under my swim suit for safe keeping.

I tip toed back into the hallway, making some head way towards the observation deck, when something icy pushed me to the ground. I coughed as the air wooshed from my lungs.

"What the motherfuck."I whispered, rolling onto my back. Cold pricked my finger tips as I examined the sylladex card. The card itself was see through, and instead of the item's image printed on the surface, a pictures of a book had been carved on to it. I traced the grooves with my finger before turning it over, revealing a strange captcha code.

wns!c

I turned it the other way.

music

Cause that just made a shit ton of sense. I grimaced, tucking the clear slate under my arm, and continued on to the observation deck. I leaned on the door, causing it to creak open. I pulled out the Ultimate Computer, my fingers dancing over the now fractured screen. Soon the opening notes of On a Good Day by Oceanlab were softly echoing through the metal room.

"A little bit lost and... a little bit lonely."I placed a palm on he glass that separated me for the sea, gazing into it's waters. Bioluminescense swam on, passing my hands like they've seen me a thousand times before. Like I was too insignificant to belong in their world. I dropped my hand and bowed my head.

"They aren't real."Someone said behind me. Eridan. I turned to face him."Nothing here is real. It feels real, but it isn't."

"I'm not real, Dualscar is not real, Cronus is not real, and you are not real."

"I am real."I said."I know because I can still feel pain, and joy, and warmth."

"Feelings don't matter, actions do."

"So you can't feel? Anything?"

"Wwhy does it matter to you?" Because I care. The words caught in my throat.

"Why did you decide to keep me alive?"

"You answwer my questions and I'll answwer yours."I cocked an eyebrow and sa down in the soft glow of the marine life. I set down the sylladex card and picked up my computer in its place.

"Eridan, was my blood really...purple?"I asked.

"Yeah, though my brother doesn't seem to believe me anymore."He admitted, joining me on the floor.

"Oh... I thought Cronus was your ancestor, there isn't any brothers or sisters or parent on Alternia, right?"

"Technically, yeah. But, don't tell them this, I'vve started to think of them as family more. Like a human family is."I stared wide eyed at Eridan's confession, utterly confused and surprised. Eridan turned a shade of plum.

"Wwhat are you staring at?!"He demanded, embarrassed.

"I thought you were...less...deep. Er, high tide."I said, fixing my choice of words.

"You thought I wwas...loww tide?"

"NO. NO NO NO!"I exclaimed, shaking my head and arms simultaneously I mean, you don't show up a lot. You're the least mentioned and seen character, er, troll, I mean-um um um-I gotta go!" I clutched the Ultimate computer to my chest and ran off to my cell, ears burning. No way in **hell** was I ever going to live that one down.

* * *

Here's the link to On A Good Day by Oceanlab if you want to check it out: watch?v=xCBZlrFqokA


	12. Dancestuck

Immortal Suicide42: ._. i-i need help. Or glasses. Or SOMETHING. Seriously DX  
cicir: Heh thanks :3  
Sweden's husband: Thanks! I actually thought I was supposed to update everyday in the beginning '^-^ But now I just do my best to update ASAP for you guys :)  
Donut Yang: WELP. Hope you died on a quest made or someone to kiss you on stand by. Dying by awesome is not a bad way to go my friend XD C:  
butterflykrp2: :D

* * *

I hid under my thin, ratty sheets, face red as hell. Why did I say that? You aren't DEEP? Gah I'm so stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid! I reached out an arm for my computer, opening up Trollian with two taps of a finger.  
:mewlingHearts began to troll endenturedJester:  
MH: (=^•ω•^=)/ H33333333Y!

EJ: **O-O** _Sup bro_

MH:(=^ω^=)I HAVE SO MANY NEW SHIPS BECAUSE OF YOU!

EJ: _Thats...a good thing right?_

MH:(=^•^=) YES!

EJ:** O-O**

MH: (^._.^) WHY DO YOU KEEP MAKING THAT FACE?

EJ: _Ive never seeen anyone so..._

EJ: _Happy to see me._

MH: (=TωT=) MY FEELS.

EJ:_ Heh im used to it_.

EJ: _Anyway whats your otp for me?_

MH: (=^ω•=) 3333333333 I CAN'T TELL YOU

EJ: _...Purrty please?_

MH: (=^•^=) 33333333 NOOOOOOOO~!

EJ: _Awwwwww_ **:(**

EJ: _You so mean meulin!_

EJ: _Cant you give me a hint?_

MH: (^•ω•^) NOPE!

EJ: _Arrrgh okay fine_ **:P**

EJ: _Do you live in a dream bubble?_

MH: (^•o•^) YEAH

EJ: _Do you share one with your dancester nepeta?_

MH: (=˙•˙=) PURRHAPS

MH: \(^•o•^)/ HOW DID YOU KNOW?

EJ: _Eh eh eh curiosity killed a cat you know_ **;)**

EJ:_ But lets call it... intuition_

**-NYAH-**

Meulin and I continued to chat for an hour more before she had to go take a "cat nap". A quick glance at the digital clock neatly tucked into the corner of my desktop revealed that it was three in the morning. After turning it off, I stashed the Ultimate Computer under my sheets. I wasn't tired in the slightest. I got off the bed and stretched cracking my back and knuckles. I stuck my head out of my doorway, ears pricked upfor any source of motion. I gently tiptoed to one of the studies, figuring that cleaning would kill some time before the Amporas woke up.

I knew by the large map on the wall that this was Eridan's study. I quietly picked up yellowed parchment paper off the floor, most having appocalyptic plans scribbled over them in purple ink. After gathering all the loose papers up, I started to leaf through them, trying to put the doomdays in order. I ended up setting them back on the floor, in neat piles this time, trying to figure everything out. After two more hours of shuffling through them, there were forty land dweller ending plans banding together, labeled and sorted in alphabetiacl order. I was lucky to escape with four small cuts on each of my hands.

**-NYAH-**

After cleaning Cronus's study (oh the horrors that I will never be able to unsee) I started to make breakfast, though I'd probably never stomach it. I doubted I could ever eat ever again.

**EVER.**

A combination of the sound of food frying and a smell that even made my mouth water brought Cronus, Eridan, even Dualscar to the kitchen. I pretended not to notice Cronus and Eridan fighting to the death for the last seat at a table that I could have sworn wasn't there yesterday.

"Special occasion."Dualscar explained when he caught my curious glance. I nodded then distributed the three plates, making it obvious I wasn't eating with them. I turned my back, ready to leave to clean some other room, when Cronus asked Dualscar something rather ridiculous.

"Can't wve throwv a party for the landwveller's arrivwal? Havwe to make a good impression."He added, waggling his eyebrows at me.

"Dude. I'm your SERVANT. A few rungs down on the echeladder from you guys if you didn't notice."

"I'm not hearing a no."

"Okay, riddle me this, how can you get the guests of said party to your guy's dream bubble?"

"This isn't actually-"

"Wve ask a hero of space to wvork something out."Cronus answered, glaring daggers at Eridan.

"Right."I said, drawing out the word to sarcastic lengths. "Got anyone in mind?"Cronus started to say something."That'd actually do it _willingly_?" And his mouth closed. Magic.

"Lass, I don't think ye understand."Dualscar pulled me closer."There isn't a thing on this ship that happens without my knowin'. And if ye really do flush for Eridan, then the party'd be a good time to make it known. And I have very little patience with land dwellers, so if ye don't tell him then, ye can count that I will girlie."My face turned beet red.

"So when's the party again?"I asked ,clapping my hands together to draw attention away from my burning cheeks.

"Wvhat made you change your-"

"You know what we'll need? A place to set up! I'll just go clean now." I interjected, running off into the hallway. I'd kill Dualscar someday for that. Or at least hit him really, really hard.

**-NYAH-**

Breathing hard, I collapsed on the small area of clean that I had been clearing for a good hour or two. What I had thought previously as a living room of sorts was hardly livable. As it turned out, it was just a vicious whirlpool of trash and discarded junk. The opening notes of Stop a Bullet eased into the air. You need to relax Alysen, you can take breaks. Just trust the music, trust me. Before I could manage a temporal responce I was off the floor.

My legs were twirling soft and graceful, my arms were perfectly poised. Soon my whole body was dancing to the beat. My muscels were mirroring movement of a river, swift and peaceful yet a thing of unlimited power. With every step I took I felt more comfortable with where I was. All the tension that SBURB had pushed on me was melting away. And I liked it. A smile played at my lips at the end of the song, but soon slipped away.

Blushing hard, I hid behind my bangs from my spectators. Throwing my eyes down cast, I brushed past the two awed brothers, dashing into the next room over. The library.

* * *

Link to Stop A Bullet: watch?v=Q5x8DnUDjZg


	13. WELPstuck

Kaylee: I'M SO HONORED RIGHT NOW :D

Liv Tyler: Welp, yeah there will be because I've actually decided to make a sequel to this story for the Assassin of Time\ Serf of Space not sure what it'll be called quite yet but I'm forming a story line for him. And the angel MAY appear later so yeah I'd like to know what she dose if you could X) WOOT WOOT GOT A HAT. So for the first explanation (which contains a spoiler alert) I have a therory when they go into someone else's dream bubble the dream bubble owner would remember them with their yellowed eyes. 2nd explanation: No spoilers, promise. Eridan sort of figured it out himself from the various books that Dualscar plundered that just happened to be about humans. There's more on that later. Also, lucky for you I got bored and decided to screw peace.** this. is. SBURB.**

Amber: thanks, I'm on it pronto :)

Sweden's husband: Lol thank yo uso much x)

Donut Yang: heh heh heh PAARRTAAYYY

cicir: She had the music playing when she began cleaning so I hope that helped a little bit

butterflykrp2: XD thanks :)

* * *

Tightly scrunched up against two bookshelves, my blush started to resemble a deep red. Eridan's and Cronus's voices were at the doorway.

"Wwe have a library?"

"You're telling me, shrimp."

"I'm NOT a shrimp, plankton!"They started to get into a heated battle, I figured I'd be here a while. I gently eased a book off the nearest shelf with a label reading PLUNDERED BY ERIDAN on the binding.I flipped to the cover, pleased to find the title was in english.

* * *

Marine Zoology- Alternian Sea

* * *

I pawed through the first couple of pages, seeing that the various aquamarine life was labeled in Alternian but their entries still in english Finely drawn sketches of each of the animals were placed next to their entries. Some I could recognized from the late night light flight, others were indescribable. Most of the entries described the creature, it's weak points, where to find it, whether or not you could eat it, and what not to eat.

It even had an entry on the Amporas, which I was thouroghly reading when the lights turned off. Metal doors slammed shut, including the library's. I set the book down cautiously, rising to my feet. Inching my way to the door, I leaned forward, waiting for any sign of life. I pressed my ear against the cold metal, patiently waiting for any noise besides water currents gently rocking the Ampora sub. Summoning my pale green strife specibus, I tapped the bloodied arrow, making it materialize in the palm of my hand. Gripping my arrow kind in my left hand, I dared to open the door.

Dim red lights glowed faintly on either side of the hallway. My breathing slowed, my bare toes pressed against iron, my back to the wall. Ragged breathing began to echo my way. I readied myself, holding the arrow to my chest. Screeches of metal on metal could be heard throughout the submarine, the door next to my cell was ripped off it's hinges. I licked my lips as I stared wide eyed and fearful at the monster before me.

Three large spikes erupting off it's visible spinal chord. A thick torso was laden with fat, stood up on two, small, skinny legs with the largest webbed feet I have ever seen. Stubby claws protruded from its three fingers one one arm, it only had one to spare apparently, while larger, fiercer dark green machetes were stabbed into it's toes. Three gills on both sides of it's slimy face were slashed in below beady black eyeballs. It opened it's mouth to unleash an unearthly roar, but then again nothing here could have possibly been from earth. Three rows of sharp, serrated dagger-like teeth caught the light, making them shine pale pink.

It clumsily stumbled towards me, a scream caught in my throat. I licked my lips again in anticipation and in fear. I trembled, though unsticking myself from the wall. I couldn't stop shaking as it came at me. I shut my eyes tight and screamed, swinging my leg at it's ugly fish face with as much force as I could muster. I only brushed it's cheek, deshelving a few scales. I'd been too impatient with my move, I was too early. I tried to pull back put it got smart and brought down it's gigantic maw on my thigh. I screamed for help, but no doors open. I grimaced, then remembered the arrow in my hand as I dangling dangerously from the monster's mouth. I threw my body weight up and stabbed it's lip.

The table turned in my favor as it released my appendage to scream. I hoisted myself up onto the flat of it's head, oblivious to the excruciating pain in my thigh. I dug the arrow out of it's opened lips, then stabbed it's eye. It failed about, but I held on like it was some twisted rodeo. I stabbed it, once, twice, three times more before I flew off, arrow still in hand. It started to run away, but now I was high on adrenaline and I pushed off the bloodied floor, following it's trail of black. I flung myself at it's over sized torso, making it fall onto it's back. I reared the sharp point of the arrow over my head, then brought it down into it's chest cavity. For good measure, I pressed it in all the way so that all you could see was the hole I had made. I watched the life slip out of it's eyes.

"_**THAT'S FOR RUINING MY SWIMSUIT, FUCKER.**_"I yelled at it. And with that, it erupted into building materials that I didn't really recognized but picked up anyways. Breathing hard and shakily, I climbed to my feet. Still, no sea dwellers emerged to congratulate me. I rolled my eyes, limping to my room with a legging of blood dripping from my wound. The Ultimate Computer was lying on my bed, waiting for my returned. Smearing the screen with red-black blood, I turned on some congratulatory music. Alive by Superchic[k] thundered out as I turned onto my back. I smiled, closing my eyes to fully absorb my victory. After a few more rounds of music, I got up off my butt to started mopping up the blood. When I emerged Dualscar, Cronus, and Eridan were clumped by my door, staring at my leg.

"Didn't that Threthpator'c bite you?"Eridan asked.

"Yeah."I answered."What about it?"

"It bit ye on yer leg, right girlie?"

"YES. Now can I go?"

"Are you sure? Cause there ain't any wvound." I screw up my face then looked down. My eyebrows shot up and I bit my lip.

"Eridan...there wvas two arrows wvhen you brought her in...right?"

"Yeah, in her neck,"he touched one side of my neck with his cold finger, sending shivers up and around my spine,"and here."He traced a small circle on the front of my leg.

"Girlie, I think ye've been lying to us."Dualscar said threateningly."Ye better start talking soon, or that Threthpator'c won't be the only one sleeping with the fishes tonight."


	14. Coldstuck

Kaylee: :D double update just for you!  
butterflykrp2: Welp, I killed Donut Yang then you. My awesome is just so out of control today C:  
Donut Yang: OP-OP-OP OPPA GANGNAM STYLE  
cicir: Yep, god tier. :)

* * *

I ducked below the three purple blooded boys, dashing into my cell. I chucked the computer over my shoulder, my sylladex bearly accepting it before they came after me. I saw hurt and betrayal in their eyes. My strength crumbled away, eyes filling with tears. I knew what that felt like. I knew, but this time I had done it. I betrayed them. I gathered my grit, sorrowful tears falling down my face, then stood up. I took a shaky breath.

"Whatever you guys need to know, I'll answer."I said, trying to catch Eridan's eye. He couldn't even look at me. They took me to a different cell, this one not much bigger then a closet. Cronus gently locked my wrists into shackles bound to the wall, with soft assurance that it was just a precaution. I nodded as Dualscar and Cronus left. Eridan stayed behind, back to me.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry... I don't know what's happening.. Just don't leave me."I begged."I promised I'd never hurt you!"I cried out.

"Your wwords don't mean anything to me anymore." I could hear my heart shatter into a thousand pieces And then, he left. He left me without saying good bye.

**-NYAH-**

I couldn't sleep. It was too cold. The blood and tears had long since dried, taking what was left of my dignity and warmth. My sylladex hovered near my feet, chilling them to the bone. I struggled to flip through the cards with my bare feet. Once I found the one I was looking for, it took some painful acrobatics to break the card, unleashing a powerful arctic gust of wind. I shimmied the Spritelace near my mouth.

"Jesse? Can you hear me? It's Alysen. Hurry up I can't-I can't stay here much longer. I hurt Eridan I hurt Eridan like Mom and Dad hurt us. I can't stand it. I need to go home. I need to now. It's so cold...I can't feel my toes or fingers or nose or lips anymore. I'm covered in blood and I haven't had a shower in a week. Just...hurry... please? For me? It hurts so bad...it hurts so bad."I whispered to myself.

**-NYAH-**

A few hours passed, I was so cold that I felt like an icicle. It felt like I had a huge gaping hole in my chest. It was way worse than dying. So much worse. The Spritelace hissed and buzzed, it's charm glowing with the intensity of the sun. I kicked it away as it turned super nova, out of a purple haze Jesse emerged.

"You heard me."I said, tearing up."You heard me."

"Damn straight."My brother commented, ripping the shackles out of the wall. He slashed at the rust binding my wrist together.

"What in the hell happened to you?"he demanded, giving me a suspicious once over."ou know what? Now's not the time. I have a ride waiting for us."He gently picked me up."Allie-oop."I was throw over his shoulder and handed a can of pepsi oxygen. I downed the drink in an instant. My mind was blank, my body was numb with cold. I was switched from being carried on Jesse's back to being cradled his scaled arms,like I as the most fragile thing in the world. I remember hearing shouts but I was thrown in the water too fast to decipher them. Jess furiously kicked, grabbing me by the collar of my swimsuit. The ocean was in perfect clarity to me, and I realized that I had never taken out my Goggle Contacts. Lucky me.

A creature that resembled a whale came at us, mouth open, and I saw a scarfed figure waiting inside. I thrash about, trying to warn my brother about the whale. I wasn't Pinocchio or Jonah, so I sure wan't going to be swallowed by a WHALE of all things. Jesse keppt ignoirng me, so I broke away I turned his head towards the large marine mammal. Jesse stared wide eyed at it for a moment before taking my hand and hiding me behind him. I peeked over his shoulder, but there was nothing to see but black.

**-NYAH-**

When I awoke, a dim white light glowed faintly. My hair swirled around me, though trying to be pulled away from my face by a light grey hand. I blinked in surprise, bolting up. I swept my hair away, then quickly braided to so at least it was semi controlled. I turned my attention back to Eridan, who'd back up some, blushing a brilliant purple. Though I'm sure he couldn't tell, I started to cry again. I didn't know how to explain all of this to him. I pointed at me then mimed talking then shook my head.

"Yeah, um... You brother explained to me that you couldn't or you'd kind of..."I dragged my thumb across me throat and over exaggerating my best dead face. He laughed. I smiled then traced a question mark then stomped my foot, pointing downward.

"Wwe are in a wwhale. It's the fastest wway to move underwwater. Your brother is giving it instructions on howw to get to your hivve." I tried to mime the question: Is it the whale that I'm thinking of?

"Yeah, probably sort of the same."I raised an eyebrow. How did he know what the whale I was talking about looked like? I decided to forget it, throwing my arms up in defeat. An awkward silence settled over us and I rubbed the back of my head, upsetting the loose braid. I backed into one side of what I hoped was the whale's mouth and curled up on my side.

I was still really, really cold. I stuck my fingers into the nape of my neck, holding them there until I could sort of feel them once more. When I lifted my hand away, I noticed how horribly I was shivering. I sat up, also noticing Eridan was watching me. I gripped my left shoulder tightly, hoping to make it stop shaking. I offered a weak smile as it slowed some. I couldn't hold on for much longer. I'd die of hypothermia if anything.

"Stop smiling like you're completely fine and just mime that you're god damn cold already."Eridan said, taking off his scarf and sweater. Even my blush that was spreading quickly was a frozen one. He held them it to me and I knew I couldn't make any excuses. I pulled the cozy sweater over my horribly stained swim top and the scarf around my neck. I nodded to show my thanks. Eridan sat down next to me, wrapping his arms around my head.

"Land dwwellers. So fucking stubborn."


	15. Vodkastuck

Donut Yang: I know right :D ^_^

simplyVantastic: YOU GOT IT! :D

darkgirl43255: lol C:

Kaylee: I sort of squee-ed at the end too XD

* * *

I never wanted the moment to end. But apparently the fucking whale did, because we showed up at my house no more than ten minutes later. I seriously hoped that fatass little fucker died. Jesse found us snuggling together, giving me that you'll-explain-later look that only big brothers could give. I shrugged and kicked toward the front door in quick scissor kicks. Eridan tried to stay outside, but Jesse eventually just shoved him through the door. Half naked and sopping wet, Eridan looked ridiculously sexy. I hurriedly gave him back his clothes, pushing them into his arms really, before I died of fangirling too hard.

I quickly made an excuse about a shower, running up the stairs to my room for a change of clothes. I picked out my pair of jeans and a black spagetti strap shirt with silver splatters all over it, then dashed into the bathroom. After a speedy shower with the water as hot as it could get, I almost lost my hairbrush in my hair it was tangled up so bad. With some light pink lip gloss, I was ready to go downstairs. After all Eridan had seen me covered head to toe in blood, it'd be easy to make a better impression after that. I burst out the bathroom to slide down the banister.

"Heyyyyyy land dwwelllerrr!"Eridan called, still half naked but now semi dry. My face heated up.

"Her name-her name's Alysen."Jesse said, poking him in the ribs."She's my-_hic_-sister."

"May I ask why you guys are drunk?"I asked.

"I found fancy land dwweller wwater!"Eridan draped an arm aorund me."''Cept instead of it bein' all like, cold, it was hot when you swwallowwed. Hey! You smell, sooooooo nice. Waaay better than Fef that's for-_hic_-sure." I picked an empty vodka bottle off the floor, pointing the neck accusingly at Jesse.

"Dude I was born in a mother fucking **lab**. You epect *excepct-fuck it. You think I would know the difference between vodka adn *dan **and faaaaanccyyy water?"

"I do if you can read sober!"I said."Just go to bed bro. You're gunna have a hell of a hangover tommorrow."

Jesse started to climb the stairs yelling, "**NO FUNNY BUZINESSES**. **NONE OF UM**." I sighed and set the empty bottle on top of the cruxtrader.

"Could have at least saved me some." I commented, helping the enebreiated sea dweller weave through the SBURB devices. I plopped him onto the couch.

"Wwill you stay wwiff meh til I fall asleep?"he asked, grabbing a hold of my hand. I knelt to the ground next to him.

"Sure."

"Don't stay **THEERRE**. It so cold dowwn _therrrrrer_." I rolled my eyes.

"Fine you drunk little merman."I climbed over him and layed down nex to him.

"Wwhat's a fucking** MERMAN**?"

"Nevermind. Just, nevermind."

"Wwere you sad?"

"Sad when?"

"Wwhen wwe had you as our servant?"

"No. Not really."

"Wwhy?"

"Erm, I don't know?"I answered, trying to hide my blush with my hands. Eridan moved them away.

"That's not an answwer. Tell meh *me the truth."

"Well, um, err, I...liked...being there..with you...I mean, like, err, um... Yeah..." Eridan grabbed my head and pulled it closer, nuzzling it.

"D'awwww, you 'r so cute."

"Um, uh, yeah... Sure... So, what do you think of Fefari?"

"Fef? Fucking left me for Sol, beat his ass fo' sho'. Noww he's happy though bein' wwiff Ar 'n stuff but Fef still doesn't lovve me. Red, pale, or black. She jus' IGNORES me... Evven wwhen wwe are in her fuckin' dream bubble and EVVERYTHING. Evven blamed me for shootin' Meenah until she said I wwasn't the one wwho did it."

"So Meenah's alive now?"

"Yeppers." It wasn't that I expected her to _totally_ die but I still didn't want to see her ugly fins ever again.

"Wait, you said this is Fef's dream bubble? How'd you guys get here?"

"The sub. Modified Dad's ship and mine, stole some shit from Cro's, then wwe could travvel the space between dream bubbles."

"Oh...so what's your dream bubble like?"

"It isn't underwwater all the time, like here, you could break to the surface if you wwanted to. Sometimes, wwhen the memories shifted or wwhatevver they do, you could see Gam's hivve. That's pretty much it though. It's pretty boring. But, since this dream bubble's gone stable, not shiftin' into new memories or wwhatevver, I don't knoww if wwe can evver leave now." My expression fell, and I couldn't look at Eridan anymore. Most likely, I was the reason the bubble went stable. I was the one that confined him here.

"Wwhy are you sad?"

"No reason..."

"Wwhatevver, liar."he said, using a thumb to wipe away forming tears. I smiled a little. "You should tell me a human story."

"Once upon a time-"

"Reddit."

"Once upon a time a princess-"

"Read it already."

"_**ONCE UPON A FUCKING TIME TWO PRINCES GOT DRUNK AND THE PRINCESS WAS SOBER. THE END."**_

"If you are REALLY taht *that sad about not gittin any fancy water there's still some left."

"Eridan. That bottle is em-" Jamming his lips to mine, taking advantage of my already open mouth to slide his tounge in.

My first kiss was stolen by an alien boy.

And I loved it.

I draped my arms around his neck, pulling him just a little closer. Grey and pink lips, melting into something beautiful. His tounge felt human, maybe just a little more tubular and pointed than mine. His lips were incredibly soft. Our legs got tangled up together, his hands found my lower back and pushed me closer.

Then something scratched the inside of my throat, forging a path up. My stomach clenched and I had to pull away from my paradise. I began to gag and cough, as the thing jack hammered my throat, stuck in it. I pulled my self up, still hacking, coughing. My throat stung, my eyes welled up again. With one final blow, it was out. I pulled my hand away. Dark purple blood dribbled down to my chin. Three crystals, though clear themselves, glinted indigo.  
Eridan pulled my hand down as I started another round of coughing. He put a comforting hand on my leg, screaming Jesse's name.

What in this god awful game was happening to me?


	16. Angelstuck

Immortal Suicide42: Heh..yeah that'd be a little awkward XD

simplyVantastic: Have I ever mentioned how awesome your username is?

butterflykrp2: *sigh* i know right?

* * *

Twenty minutes later, a sobered Jesse was hunched over a microscope and Eridan was holding my hair back for me as I coughed up more and more blood into a bowl. I had hacked up three more crystals, seven in total, and they had done a quite number on my throat.  
Jesse fed us information the moment he got it. Like, all the crystals I had coughed up were 105 grams total, fifteen grams each. They could be sugar or salt crystals. I had coughed up three ounces of blood, all of it getting redder as I went.

"Now if I could stop that'd be just fan-fucking-tastic wouldn't it?" I said, wincing and holding my stomach. "When are you going to get anything solid? Just let me help-"

"No."Eridan insisted, making me sit back down."You're hurt and coughing up blood, dumbass, like helping him wwould be a good idea. " I cocked an eyebrow, but did as he asked, settling back into his arms.

I used the back of my hand to wipe off the blood-salvia mix from my chin, then sighed. I was starting to feel sort of dizzy, my throat felt like I had poured magma down it. And on top of that, Eridan would NOT put a shirt on. Not that I minded, but it was really distracting. I traced three almost imperceptible gills on his side, vision fading fast. I curled up onto Eridan's lap like a cat would, falling asleep to methodical strokes on the small of my back.

**-NYAH-**

_Good, you're awake again. So they are throwing you a party? My, my, you have them wrapped around your pretty little finger don't you?_

I sneered at the girl. White hair, pale skin, black eyes, silver lips. It was a definite change from the other guy. Her voice bounced off the voided space.

_No need for such ugly faces! You already met three angels, I don't think you need meet more._

I rolled my eyes at her unmoving lips.

_Fine, your choice. But you still need to learn how to get the guests to your party, eh Princess? I'm assuming your providing the music._

I crossed my arms.

_I know, a terrible joke to play on the Princess of Music but sucks for you. Let's see what you brought, hm?_

I held out the materials to her.

_You're joking? Right? We won't even be able to get half way to the Prince's bubble with that! I'll just have to send more of those creatures towards you. __Seriously, this amount of nova is just flat out pathetic._

I held out my arms in the 'come at me bro' sort of way. Then made them into fists, madly circling each other.

_You're right now's not the time to dawdle. Let me show you how this is done. Which one is the Prince currently in?_

I gently caressed the magenta orb.

_Ugh, the witch's?_

I nodded, then made a heart with my fingers, the end of it pointing at me.

_Oh really now?_

I nodded enthusiastically. Her silver lips smiled, then patted my head.

_I remember when I was in love. So long ago..._

I stared at the girl's fingers, spinning the materials I had brought from the physical side into thousands of shining threads. She expertly knotted, braided, twisted, pulled. My eyes tried to take it all in, my brain soaking up the delicate pathwork.

_Did you get all of that? I whizzed through it so fast._

I nodded excitedly.

_Now you have to collect enough materials to reach the Prince's, you have a tight schedule to finish the bridge. The party is supposed to be on Valentine's. For your physical form that's three days, a full days worth of fighting should get you at least enough to make it to the bard's. Another will get you to the Seer's. The last should get you to the Knight's. This is just me underestimating you by the way. You'll have two hours to alchamize your weapons plus weapons for the two pieces of eye candy you have over. More than enough time for you, but since the fine print of the healing enchantment does say you can't remember a thing when the physical you wakes up... Oh, speak of the devil! Bye Princess!_

-NYAH-

I heard someone snoring overhead. I yawned and rose off of Eridan's lap,going to get him a blanket.

"Good news, Alysen!"My brother called. I put a finger to my lips, shushing him then nodded at Eridan.

"Right, right, right. But I figured out why your blood went purple. Apparently, unoxygenated blood mixed with oxygenated blood in your veins, causing it to

change color." I pushed past him and climbed down the stairs.

"And?" I asked, entering my room.

"And what?"Jesse implored.

"And what caused unoxygenated blood?"I demanded, exasperated. Rolling up my sheets I exited my room again.

"Well there was a lot of chloroplast sticking to them. The crystals were definitely sugar just by the way. I'm not exactly sure what you did to create the chloroplast and sugar so I need to know what you did yesterday?"

"Everything?"I asked,face heating up. I rushed up to the attic.

"Everything."I heard below my feet as I wrapped Eridan in my blanket.

**-NYAH-**

As if spilling my personal love affairs wasn't enough for Jesse, he had to record them too. I silently swore I'd burn that paper if I got my hands on it.

"Rescued by me, riding in a whale, took a shower, lip gloss, and a sloppy make out with dead fish boy."Jesse read aloud.

"You're a dead fish dude too."I pointed out.

"Correction, I'm a dead mutant fish dude. There's a difference."

"You don't say."I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Why are you collecting all those weapons off the wall?"Jesse asked as I threw various sharp,pointy objects over my shoulder.

"It's not like the fish prince of Bel Air hasn't already seen it all."

"Well, then, I don't know. It's just like I need to do this you know? I have a feeling something's coming and I just want to be prepared."

"Being prepared would entitled you know how to use any of this. From what I recall, you've battled everything really up close. Do you know how dangerous that is?"

"Well it** killed** them didn't it?"

"Yes but that's not the point right now. The point is you shouldn't have weapons if you don't know how to use them."

"The point is that we are sitting ducks right now and I'll eventually figure it out."I quipped, throwing the last thing off the wall-a ball and chain.

"Fine, fine, fine. Whatever."Jesse said, following me down the stairs to the living room. I set the other stack of cards I had already made onto the couch.

"So are you going to help me with these or not fish stick?"I asked, handing him one of my sylladex cards.


	17. Bikinistuck

Liv Tyler: YAY! I missed your reviews my friend! I approve this sollux head cannon. The silver-chick was purposefully not described well (for once) and I'm hoping to use all of January for the editing for all of the chapters I've posted. So no new chapters in January sadly, though I am actually gunna write a collection of one shots while I'm not updating though so I can't get rusty. My friend gave me 27 flash fiction topics to write about, but honestly if you want to submit any topics I'd be really happy to write about it! It has to be broad though, I can also write about a pairing if you'd like :3

InvaderXJadeXUchiha: O-O sure is XD and yeah but the sequel won't be about Alysen it'll be about the Assassin of Time\Serf of Space. I may merge Alysen's and his stories together if I get bored at some point. I'm not quite sure.

Kaylee: Heh took about 17 chapters for it to :P though this one isn't really action packed '^-^

cicir: oooh! That makes sense! Thank you ^-^

Donut Yang: DON'T DIE ON ME AGAIN DONUT!

butterflykrp2: hehehe thank you :D

Immortal Suicide42: The alpha kids are a maybe, not too sure about their's and the beta kid's appearance in this story sadly. This is more of a troll oriented story,but I'd be glad to let them crash the party if you're dying to see them!

simplyVantastic: Lol XD that just might be my favorite fan-made quote for Eridan :3 My 2nd favorite is "you're my SOLmate" I can't remember the title of the video but if I can come up with it I'd be happy to give you a link or something!

* * *

Jesse was on captcha duty, cranking out red prepunched cards like no tomorrow. I took up a slightly more laborious task, managing the various combinations and the cruxite dowels. Clear, bluish glass was piling up in the corner, competing for what little room remained.

-NYAH-

An hour and a half slid by, I had tiny cuts all over my skin and clothes. I gathered the final five products in my arms, their sharp edges wedging themselves into my flesh. Sweat stung at the new wounds, skillfully ignoring it, I barely squeezed by piles of cruxite with their respective cards clumsily taped on. I pushed myself up the two flights of stairs to the attic. Metal clattered to the ground the same time I did, waking Eridan.

"Wwhere am I? Oh cod, Dualscar's gunna krill me!"Eridan yelled, jumping up with a start, then groaned."Not if my head krills me first."

"It's called a hangover. You got drunk last night. Do you remember...?"

"I remember falling asleep up here because you coughed something up... You're not still sick are you?"

"Do you remember ANYTHING else? ANYTHING at all?"

"No, it's all foggy."I wasn't sure wether to be relieved, or disappointed.

"It'll come back to you."I assured, a weight suddenly placed on my chest. Disappointed AND depressed? God I was just so lucky today. I pushed myself off the cool lineolium, sitting up.

"Your shirt and cape are...somewhere. I don't really know what you did with them really."I admitted, arranging my weapons in two little rows.

"You'll never be able to use that one. You're too skinny to pick it up."Eridan pointed out, nudging a ball and chain with enlongated spikes.

"That's good cause it's not mine. It's Jesse's."I told him.

"Okay, wwhat about that one?"He poked at a mace, its colors wrapped around the base.

"A back up."

"Oh."

"This one's mine though." I selected a dagger from the first row, sliting my finger open. I stuck the base up, revealing five different settings. Normal, icy, hot, poison, and tranq, all having a little sliding switch next to them. I smashed the bottom of it at the floor, sheathing itself as a elastic bungee chord was spat out. I wrapped it around my leg, then picked up a sword. Similar neon switches could be found on the base, including shock and invisablity. I had to manually sheath it, and due to it's length I could attatch it unless I was standing up.

"So wwhat about the gun?" I picked up a purple handgun gingerly, smiling a little. This was probably one of the most meaningful things I would craft. I had combined all the guns that hung on that wall, in other words fifty five, to create maybe THE most powerful thing I could. Of course, I couldn't use it worth a DAMN but...

"It's no Ahab's Crosshairs, but despite it being so...small it's really, reallly powerful. I think others would underestimate it, over look it thinking it'd never do anything useful. I thought it'd be a perfect fit for you."

"...You think I'm small?"

"Arrrgh no! Just take the damn gun already."I said,blushing hard then pushing it into his hands."Not like I was trying to make you feel good about yourself or anything..."I muttered underneath my breath. I closed my left eyes, leaning back on my palms.

"So do you like it?"I asked, trying to appear all cool about it though really I was freaking out. God I hope he likes it. I peered up at Eridan after a long streach of silence. His eyes were filled with wonder, hands caressing the hand gun like it was the most fragile thing in the universe. It didn't really look like he was breathing either.

"I think you broke him." Jesse commented, suddenly appearing behind me."Anyways, somethings coming towards us. Gunna go check it out."He grabbed for the ball and chain with the colorful spikes.

"Why do you need that then?"

"It doesn't look too user friendly, if you know what I mean." I nodded, though I wasn't sure he even saw it. Jesse darted down the stairs like an eel, quick n' slick.

"Wwhy dosen't he havve a hangover?"

"He's..."I tried to search for the right word,"...special."

"Lucky bastard."

"Yeah... lucky."I got to my feet.

"Wwhere are you going?"

"Well, if it turns out that thing coming at us isn't looking for gumdrops and sparkles, I can't fight it in my regular clothes."

"Wwhy not? Oh. Right. Land dwweller. Forgot."

"I think I like drunk Eridan better."I said to myself, descending down the wooden stairs. I headed to my room, already shucking off my cut up shirt. I heard Eridan's foot steps hurry down the steps and I quickened my pace to a run, slamming my bedroom door behind me.

-NYAH-

I debated my chances of survival if I just stayed in my room the rest of my life. I had three, four days tops. Wouldn't be so bad really. I'd just die of dehydration instead of embarrasment.

"Who buys their daughter such a trashy bikini anyways..."I wondered quietly, nervously picking at the decorative strings on the hips. Okay, so it wasn't really that trashy, my boobs just made it look that way. A flirtatious white skull stood out against the solid black material. My thighs felt like they were on display with out any swim shorts covering them up. I was surprised how grown up and mature I looked. I bit my lip nervously, rubbing my shins together.

"Maybe he won't notice?"I tried."Yeah...right. The Eridan Ampora would never notice these fat cows."I answered, squishing my boobs together. I sighed. What was I even doing? I should go out there! Jesse needed me on stand by, just in case, and so what if it was just a false alarm? I killed that sea bitch Meenah didn't I? I killed that weird ass little mo fo on the sub! So what if the hotest troll in the universe looks at me? At least I'll look good. I nodded, the self pysch totally worked! My self confidence was so high, I could have convinced Tavros to walk without robo legs. I burst into the hallway, dagger and sword kinds bouncing of my long legs as I marched down stairs.

Then he looked, he just HAD to look. Oh god, my face was turning red already. Self...confidence...eroding away! Why did he have to be shirtless? Why did heonly find his scarf and glasses? Why, why, why, why?! I crossed my arms over my chest, ears practicly turning to strawberries. I bite the inside of my cheek so hard it bled.

Oh god, how do you breath again? In, out, in, out right? Or was it out, in, out, in? Gah I can't take it anymore! I dashed up the stairs, I was sure I made it to my room in record time. I slumped against the door that I had just slammed shut, sighing. God I was such a loser.


	18. Awwkwwardstuck

Kaylee: he he he I tend to use humor as a filler if I can't think of anything to type. C:

Liv Tyler: Tardis?...OH I KNOW WHAT THAT IS! Sorry, proud for knowing that. My friend's trying to get me to watch Doctor Who while waiting for an update. I've been studying all the shipping scenarios really hard!(been getting sort of a nosebleed for some of them XD) Yeah sorry about the errors I've been sort of lazy 'bout that. Don't worry I'll go back to fix them later C:

Donut Yang: YAY! :D *claps*

simplyVantastic: D'awww thanks :3 ^-^ (p.s eridan's face probably look sexy as it dose tend to ALL THE TIME *insert heart and fangirl squeal here*)

butterflykrp2: Woot! Woot! Girl power! Lol XD I've honestly never worn a bikini, I just don't look good in them sadly. I wear tankinis though. :D

* * *

"Please come out! I didn't mean to stare! I promise I wwon't anymore! Just please come out already." My heart had jumped into my throat, I couldn't speak without it jumping out. "No...I'm-I'm okay in here."I stuttered out, hand over my mouth.

"But I promised I wwouldn't stare! I mean, wwho wwouldn't? You look beautiful."

"...Really?"I asked, stroking the sheath of my sword as it awkwardly forced my leg to be straight.

"Really." I couldn't stop a smile escaping from my lips, nuzzling my face into the light weight material of my swimsuit. I got up, opening to the door to reveal a madly blushing face. God that was so cute.

"So...yeah, um... Has Jesse come back yet?"I asked, rubbing my arm self consciously.

"Er...no."

"...Do you want help finding your sweater?"

"...Sure."

**-NYAH-**

To my relief, the awkward conversation died there, something equally uncomfortable hung in the air as we searched the living room together. Eridan couldn't hold eye contact with me anymore, and refused to answer any of my questions with anything other than a nod. I hesitantly laid a hand on his bare shoulder, almost making him jump three feet into the air.

"Are you okay? Did something happen...?"Eridan furiously shook his head, which had remained a constant bright shade of purple.

"So you aren't okay? Do you remember something?"I felt my own face heat up as he gave the slightest nod.

"Oh! Um, it's okay! I-I-I thought it was good. I mean, sharing is caring right?"Oh god, that was so kindergarten of me."I mean, I wouldn't mind if you kissed me again. WAIT I MEAN..."What DID I mean?

"I'm just a land dweller right? It's understandable if you don't, erm, feel that way. Flushed, I guess. Though I, uh, am flushed for you? WAIT I REALLY DIDN'T MEAN THAT AS, LIKE, A QUESTION! No that's definitely a statement! Er, interjection, whatever you guys would call that! There really isn't anything to be embarrassed about, I mean, if it didn't mean anything to you at all, all you gotta do is say so! Erm, I mean, you don't have to I suppose, it's just that it'd be nice to know!" Grey lips being pressed to mine ceased my nervous rambling. All too soon, he pulled away from me.

"Land dwwellers... If I knew all I had to do was kiss you to shut you people up..."Eridan said as he pushed up his hipster glasses up the bridge of his perfect nose. Fangirl squeals all around, on me. Three hard knocks on my bedroom window, followed by a cracking noise, hit our eardrums. Goose bumps raised on my arms as I rushed down the stairs, gulping down a Pepsi oxygen before bounding out of the house.

I marveled at the clarity of the water before remembering, AGAIN, that I had not taken off the goggle contacts like the dumb ass I was. Facepalm combo x2. My brother swam to me pointing at the dark cloud looming ahead. He tried to mime that they'd kill us. I mimed back to him not if we killed them first.

**-NYAH-**

Dark creatures attacked me from all angles, forcing me into intense combat. I was glad the Sword of Angels mostly guided my moves like I was in some sort of training. Sword of Angels, that was what the monsters kept screeching at it. I learned that fighting underwater was sort of like a dance. One, two, slash. One, two, slash. And defend, and block, and dodge, and leap. I kept repeating the moves in my head, realizing how much fun this actually was.  
Somewhere deep down inside of me, I was worried that all of them would be like the one I had faced before. Scary, ugly, and hard to kill. The ugly wasn't too far from the mark, but as long as I focused on my movement instead of theirs, they weren't so scary. My blade proved to be worthy of all the cuts I had earned while making it.

They kept dropping strange, shining material as I sliced and diced through them. It looked like moonbeams, white and creamy, reflecting the sea's light off of it, increasing it's majestic glow. The monsters never dropped a single grist, nor did I ever rise a rung on my echeladder. As far as I could tell, I didn't even have one. I didn't think about it all too seriously though, all I knew for sure was that I wanted more of the sparkly stuff. A lot more.

**-NYAH-**

As the siege progressed, my mind numbed and my muscles never grew tired of their constant movement. Instead of my energy depleting, it soared. It felt better than a sugar high. If felt like an unthinkable about of power being injected into my veins. I was unstoppable. A victorious smile widened my lips.  
Eridan's and Jesse's movements became slow, sluggish even. Eridan seemed to tire of his gun. Jesse barely seemed to swing his ball and chain anymore. Even my sword seemed to sag, completely drain.

Who needs you? I thought, sheathing it. A creature mistook this as a sign of my defeat, lashing out at my exposed torso. I was quick to pull out my dagger, sinking it into it's back. With a flick of my thumb, poisonous green fire licked at my blade, over taking my assailant. It's corpse burst into the milky white treasure I had desired. I wasn't giving up yet, and I wasn't going to be for a while.

**-NYAH-**

My whole body relaxed at the sight of vacant alternian sea. There was a sudden decrease in my energy, all the fight I had in me rushing out into the water. I was too tired to even swim the short distance to my house. So I floated there, waiting for the two boys to notice there wasn't a battle on the battle field anymore.

All of the alien fish had swam off The ocean was tuning a beautiful shade of pinkish-orange as the sun set overhead. Light danced on my idle body, tinting it shades of fire. My ponytail must have snapped at some point I reasoned as thick, chocolate strands of hair tickled my nose, neck, and back.  
Once I realized Eridan and Jesse weren't coming out for me, I summoned my last reserve of strength and dog paddled back to my house. I gracefully landed on my door step, looking out into Alternian waters one last time, shaking my head at all the ridiculousness in my life.

I ended the world, met my mutant brother, found out my parents had fucked around with my DNA, killed a Thief of Life, locked in a jail, was the servant of a pirate, prince, and bard, ridden in a whale, had a sloppy make out with Eridan, coughed up crystals, had my blood run indigo, and fought strange underwater beasts for at least six hours straight.

I guess that was SBURB for you.


	19. Couchstuck

simplyVantastic: aww that sucks! I'm not even on break until after tomorrow T^T and yeah. I'm taking January off for editing purposes but I am going to start up a collection of Homestuck one shots\ flash fictions so I'll keep in practice. If you want you could leave me a pairing\ general topic for me to write about in a review! :3

Donut Yang: lol XD

Immortal Suicide42: Yeah, I supose it is going rather fast. And I suppose that IS true, but I do so happen to have a different kesmesis lying in the wings for him. ^-^ SPOILER ALERT: His title gives it away ;)

cicir: she seems...? ?^? Suspense much D"X

butterflykrp2: he he he thank you :)

Inuyashagirl312: I think almost any troll mentioned in Homestuck is worth mass genocide for XD except for Fefari. Hate that S.O.B, don't know why I have just always hated her e-o

Sweden's husband: tissue? *hands kleenex* :3 But anyways, thanks so much :D

* * *

"I found your dead fish boyfriend's sweater."Jesse told me when I walked through the door, handing me a towel.

"He has a name and it's Eridan. He isn't even part fish."I explained, though I wasn't completely sure about the last statement."Not part **earth** fish anyways."

"So he** is** your boyfriend!"I gave him my best death glare."You're the one not denying it sis, and even if he isn't, you still frenched a fish!"

"I will kill you again, dip you into tartar sauce, then stick you in the oven til you're golden fricken brown."I threatened, drying off my hair before chucking the badly dampened towel at him. I rolled me eyes, then poked at my sore chest where the monster head butted me. No ribs broken at least.

"Fine, fine, fine. So then, tell me what you know about this guy."I raised my eyebrows in warning.

"Hey I'm your big marine oriented brother right? And you're my little sis, I just want to know."he whined. I flicked my still fairly wet hair at him, sending a spray of water at my brother. I stepped around him, heading toward the stairs. Jesse's arm shot out, blocking my path. I tried to duck under his bicep, but instead his leg shot out. It was apparent I was't going anywhere unless I spilled the beans.

"His name is Eridan Ampora, he is a troll. He's the second highest in the hemospectrum. He's fucking sexy when he doesn't have a shirt on. He's a master of white magic slash science. He's a prince of hope that killed most of the angels. And also, his gun is huuuuge. And no, I'm no talking about that gun, fish stick."I added, swatting at him for snickering.

"So he have any, like, friends?" I looked at him incredulously, debating whether or not to tell him.

"I don't know, not my place to tell."I whispered, eyes downcast.

"Your eyes tell a different story lil' sis, tell me the truth. Does he have any friends?"Jesse persisted, carefully enunciating every word like I was a small child.

My hands clenched into fists, and I quickly fainted left. Jesse flinched in attempt to grab me. I smiled, bringing my foot back then pushing on his back, forcing him forward. My brother tumbled to the ground and I ascended the stairs faster than a bullet. I was about to duck into my room when Eridan caught me by my wrist.

"Thanks for... you knoww." I nodded, ears pricking up at the sound of my brother getting to his feet again. I pulled on Eridan's hand, beckoning him into my room before Jesse managed to stumble up the stairs. I nervously licked at my lips, then reached up for my sylladex. I shuffled through the cards, trying finding the right one. I found the right icy slab, then chucked it at the ground. I gently picked up the Ultimate Computer, though I knew for damage had been done to it. I waltzed to my desk top, cocking an eyebrow at it in a confused manner. Had it always been this huge?

"Have you ever heard of Harry Potter?"I asked, turning it on.

"No."

"Good."I smiled to myself, then logged on. I opened up my hard drive and searched for my movies folder. I double clicked it, easily finding the wizard flick. I switched on my speakers as the movie loaded.

"Here." I said, getting out of the seat then patting it. "It's a good movie, I think you'll like it." That should keep him occupied for a little while. I slipped out of the room, though I longed to sleep in my own bed. My legs felt heavy but I managed to shuffle down the stairs and drag them through the maze of metal devices and blue glass. I pushed cruxite dowels off the couch, causing them to clatter to the ground and shatter. I yawned and laid down.  
I had planned on talking to Cronus, to tell him Eridan was okay, but I just couldn't do it. The couch was just so soft. The room was bitterly cold, I could bearly feel my toes in my sleepy haze. Jesse appeared beside me.

"I need.. to tell.. Cronus... Eridan's okay."I told him through a series of yawns.

"Mhm, yeah, well you should have done that before going face to fin with those things."

"I'm sorry."

"Eh? Are you now? Just give me the damn computer so I can tell him. Go to sleep already. Geez you're such a pain." I relinquished the Ultimate Computer with out much of a fight. Jesse placed a blanket over me as I gently slipped away.

**-NYAH-**

_Oooh that's a lot more than I had expected you to get!_

I shrugged, respectfully stepping away from the large pile of celestial dust.

_Non, non, non Princess! It's your turn remember?_

My eyes widened.

_Yes, really. Now go on, go on!_

I knelt down and picked up a handful of nova at the angel's request. The texture was like clay, though it appeared to be a dust. I coiled the material into super thin strings one by one. I glanced up at the angel's watchful face, looking for a sign if she was good or bad. Her still expression gave nothing away.

_Ah you're curious as to what I'm the angel of?_

She sat down next to me and started to roll the nova in between her elegant fingers.

_Well I suppose there's an interesting story to that. I am the angel of dreams and voice. I was supposed to stop the prince from destroying everyone. No matter how much I reasoned with him though, he never heard me. So, my lips were caste in silver as punishment._

She paused for a moment, then turned to me.

_You don't understand why I was punished do you?_

I shook my head.

_I guess you wouldn't. Let's try to put it into simpler terms. Say there was a toy. A toy that could make anyone want to do anything. But then, when it matters the most, that toy couldn't make a person do something anymore. Who would want the toy anymore if it can't do her job?_

I touched her arm, giving a little smile.

_I guess you're right. Thank you Princess._

My smile widened and I picked myself off the black, heading towards the twelve orbs. I grabbed a glowing string that was waving in the air above me. Closing my eyes, I tried to mimic the Angel of Dreams and Voice's movements from the time before. Weaving, braiding, knotting. A hand rested on my shoulder, making my eyes fly open. I was suddenly aware of how much time had past.

_So you made it to the Thief's did you? I could have gotten father than that with all the nova your physical self collected. But I guess this is good. For an amateur anyways._

I smiled at her praise.

_Don't get cocky with me._


	20. Sporkstuck

Kaylee: A (insert whatever I am here) never reveals her secrets ;) lol

simplyVantastic: I'm on it bro! :D (I just call everyone bro sorry if it triggers ya)

Donut Yang: Yes! Always listen to mysterious people! **ALWAYS** O^O

butterflykrp2: Heh thank you ^-^

Inuyashagirl312: I just realized you're not going to see my replies to your reviews til you get here 'o-o oh well I'll reply anyways. Cause I'm cool like that. XD

* * *

"Alysen! Alysen!" Nails dug into my skin and shook. I wiped away drool that had dribbled down the sides of my mouth in my sleep.

"Dude what the hell. Waking a sis up in a middle of a nap like that."I mumbled, drowsily getting up off the couch, stretching my arms. I stared dully at my panicked brother's face.

"Guess what? Not my problem. Something that is our problem though is the crazy mermaid chick outside."

"What in the absolute FUCK did you do?!"

"After I used Trollian or whatever it's called to, you know, message the other crazy dead fish dude, a chick called cuttlefishCuller started yellin' at me, er, you. Apparently you krilled her sister? by the way, how do you krill someone in the first place? Did you chuck fish at someone while I was dead?"

"No, it's a pun. A fish pun. Anyways,"I unsheathed my sword that had been placed beside me,"I'll just krill Fefari and we won't have to deal with it anymore. Where's Eridan?"

"In your room, watching Harry Potter for the umpteenth time. Seriously, does he have litle brain damage or something?"

"Not as much as you do." I muttered, making my way to the door. Pressed up against the wall, I took a peek through the peep hole.  
Warm colored horns gently curved out, almost lost in inky hair. Completely white, cat like eyes, though protected by pink goggles, managed to glare through. Black lips were curled into a childish pout. Grey arms crossed defiantly over a laughably small chest. But what Fefari lacked in boobs, was made up in height. She was at least a few inches taller than me. I was sure all that hair and tall horns added to the illusion.

I returned to my original pose, hand slowly turning the door knob. I switched my sword into 'invisible' mode, then stuck the blade in between the door and it's frame, prying it open. I held it's sharp edge against the surface of the salt water, making an almost unnoticeable outline against it.  
Fefari's unsuspecting hand reached out, my sword drawing magenta blood from her palm. I smiled at the recoil, lowering my sword for a moment. The wrong moment, sadly. An enraged princess sea dweller burst into my living room in a wave of water. I frowned at the wet imprint on the carpet, then took a defensive stance.

"You!"she cried, voice high and shrill. Fefari pointed an accusatory finger at me, I lifted my chin, begging her to take a stab at me with her golden trident.

"Come at me bro."I challenged.

"You don't even have a weapon!" With a flicked of my thumb, my strife specibus became known.

"You're the one fighting with an over glorified spork."I countered.

"You're the one who krilled my glubbing sister!"Fef shouted, launching into an attack.

"Well don't we love to point out the obvious?"I asked, easily dodging the prongs as they jabbed into the dry wall behind me." And technically I can't kill something that's already dead."Fefari began yanked her weapon out of the wall with difficulty. Jesse had snuck up behind her while she had been struggling to pull her yellow pitch fork out of my house and proceeded to pick her uo off her webbed feet. I stifled a laugh and hope my expression had remained serious. I tossed my hair over my shoulder, hoping that girl speak for 'I won' was the same for Alternia as it was Earth.

"So, Fefari Peixes, what brings you here? I mean yeah I killed your 'sister',"I made air quotes with my fingers her," who was already dead and Eridan's here but other than that..."I picked the three pronged tooth pick out of the wall and leaned on it heavily.

"Eridan's here? Ugh tell your lackey to glub off already!"

"Welp, had to spoil all the fem-drama atmosphere and what not but he's my older brother, not my lackey. He does what he wants. But yeah Eidan's here, just hiding up in my bedroom." I idly lifted the trident up the stairs. Fefari twisted her scaly face like she had bitten int a lemon.

"Why is he in your room?"

"Cause he stayed the night here."I answered, grinning mischeiviously. Fefair's faced turned dark pink.

"He's only six sweeps old you know."

"So am I. Right bro-bro?"

"Don't you ever call me bro-bro again."Jesse threatened. I held up my hands in defense."Can I put dead fish girl down now?"I sighed but nodded. My brother set Fef on the carpet. She whirled around, looking like she was about to give him a piece of her mind. I watch her expression turn from angry to awestruck in point five seconds. Jesse returned the glassy stare. I faked gagging myself with the wrong end of Fefari's trident while the fish priss's back was turned to me.

Did I look at Eridan like that?

"Fef? Wwhat are you doing here?"Thanks a lot Harry. Great distraction you were."Aly, wwhy do you havve Fef's trident?"

"Psh, this ancient thing is her's? No wonder."I said, playing dumb, but handing back the dazed troll her specibus.

"You didn't knoww that wwas her's?"Eridan's eyebrows rose up in surprise."I thought you kneww evverything."

"I know about things that are interesting."I said, flicking my bangs in front of my eye with a shake of my head. I secretly smiled at the fuming Fefari.

"So do you need anything else?"I asked her."If not Jesse can escort you home."Take the bait, take the bait! I repeatedly begged in my head.

"Who's Jesse?"Fefari asked.

"Me."My brother whispered, blushing blue really hard.

"Oh, well, then I guess I'm done here..."

"Great. Now you two should really be going. Bye!"I said, pushing them both out of the door. I sighed with relief, then realizing I wasn't quite out of the woods yet.

"So, um... Dualscar's coming to get you soon."I offered quietly as Eridan drew closer to me, slowly descending the stair case.

"I-I'm not sure if he'll let me stay on your sub since I don't really have any answers for your guys's questions."I whispered in the same hushed tone. If I spoke any louder then that rasp, I knew my voice would crack and shatter in union my heart."And, and I have to get on with my session. I'm going to win. For you. I'll, I'll come back for sure. I'm not sure when, or how, but I'll do it." I looked up, fully aware of cold, cold, tears streaming down my chin and running down my neck.

"But you're gunna have to promise me something Eridan, well, two things really."He was close enough that I could feel his body heat now. My vision was too blurry to see anything, but it sounded like he might have been crying to."Since I'm coming back for sure, I'll ask for the first then now, second thing later. All you have to promise is that the party will go on. I have no idea if I'll make it or not. Just, have the party. Please?" He didn't say anything for a long time.

"Eridan?"My voice cracked.

"Land dwwellers."He shuddered out. Slowly, he reached beind me, firmly grasping the handle. I heard the small mechanisms in the knob scream against each other. I could feel the warmth of my prince's body no more. The door opened, then shut. He was gone. My body crumpled to the wet,wet ground.

"No!"I sobbed out."No, no, no, no no..."I curled up into myself.

I had driven yet another person away.

But this one had left with my soul, leaving my body a hallowed shell of a girl I once knew.


	21. Maryamstuck

simplyVantastic: ikr T^T and I WILL!

Donut Yang: Q-Q I'm so sorry i had to mess with your feels D"X

butterflykrp2: Awww I'm so sorry :

Chibi Night Angel: Gamzee's would definetly be my second\third choice to do this for. He competes for the spot with Sollux :3

* * *

:endenturedJester began to troll mewlingHearts:

EJ:_ Meulin?_

EJ:_ Are you there?_

EJ:_ I know it's late and stuff but please just tell me youre there._

MH: (^•o•^) WHAT'S WRONG?

EJ: _Everything._

MH: \(^•x•^)/ AWW TELL ME ALLYOUR F33LS

EJ: _Well i lost my matesprit_

EJ:_ Actually that wasnt official yet but i was going to ask him..._

MH: (=^. .^) WAS IT ERIDAN?

EJ: **Q-Q** _How did you know?_

MH: /(=^ω^=)/ H33 H33 H33 A TRUE SHIPPER CAN'T REVEAL HER SECRETS

EJ: _True true_

MH: (=`ω´=) WOULD YOU MIND IF I INCLUDED PORRIM AND KANAYA IN THIS?

EJ:_ No not at all._

EJ: _I need all the help I can get._

:chat mode switched from private to four-way:  
:grimAuxiliatrix and to+ughLo+ver began to troll endenturedJester and mewlingHearts:

EJ: _Hu_

EJ: _*Hi_

EJ:_ Sorry i can bearly see anything ive been crying so much_ **:T**

TL: O+h yo+u po+o+r baby :(

GA: May I Inquire As To Why You Are Crying Jester

EJ:_ Well i guess i should just start from the begining_

EJ: _I killed myself on my quest bed right?_

EJ: _Then eridan found me floating around i guess_

TL: Eridan *Ampo+ra*?

TL: Cro+nus' dancesto+r?

EJ: _Yeah_

EJ:_ I was sort of their servant girl for a while._

EJ: _Nothing shady i promise._

EJ: _But then a lot of questions cropped up that i couldnt really answer._

GA: Such As

EJ:_ Why could i heal so quickly_

EJ:_ Why did my blood change color_

EJ:_ Just weird things that keep happening_

EJ:_ So i got thrown in jail and my brother came to bust me out_

EJ: _Then eridan helped us out and gave us a lift to my house_

EJ: _Where some..._

EJ:_ Redrom..._

EJ:_ Developed..._** '^-^**

MH: (=^•^=) 33333333! PURRFECT!

MH: \(=^•^=)/ MY SHIP'S CANNON!

TL: Details! Details!

EJ: _Well um we sort of...kissed_ **^\\\^**

EJ: _Twice._

TL: Did yo+u use to+unge?

EJ: _Erm yeah..._

EJ: _The first time he did._

EJ: _And he was shirtless._

EJ: _And it was just..._

EJ: _Totes perf_.** :)**

EJ:_ But then I sort of threw up sugar crystals so..._

EJ: _That ruined the mood pretty quick_

GA: Why Did You Throw Up Crystals

EJ: _I have no flipping idea sorry_ **:|**

MH: (=TωT=) OH MY F33LS! K33P GOING!

EJ:_ Okay okay!_

EJ: _So after the second kiss my place got attacked by these weird things._

EJ:_ I think they were the imps\ogers i was supposed to fight._

EJ: _They aren't around anymore, but i have a strange feeling that theres more of them._

EJ: _But after that I took a little cat nap_

EJ: _^ Pun of the feline kind just for you meulin._

EJ: _Anyway, fefari showed up cause i killed meenah._

EJ: _Fucking deserved it though cause Meenah killed my brother._

EJ:_ Which i then proceeded to kick fefs ass pretty thouroughly_

EJ: _Then she started to crush on my dead bro-sprite in the red sort of way._

MH:NEW SHIP?

MH: (=^•^=) I THINK SO!

EJ:_ And i think he sort of likes her back that way too._

EJ: (Ick.) XP

GA: I Take It You Don't Like Fefari

EJ: _No._

EJ:_ HATE that bitch._

EJ:_ So, anyway, fef left with him and then eridan showed up again._

EJ: _And i had to let him know that i probably couldn't go back to his sub with him._

EJ:_ Cause dualscar probaby wouldn't really let me on after i escaped and sort of took his son with me for like 2 or 3 days._

EJ: _Dont know for sure anymore._

EJ: _Times pretty irrelevant to me now._

EJ:_ I was going to ask him to be my matesprit before he had to go._

EJ: _But i thought id ask at the party instead._

TL: What party?

EJ: _Cronus wanted to throw a party or some shit for my arrival._

EJ:_ He said he was going to pull some strings with space players so everyone could come to it and everything._

GA: Well That's Pretty Honorable

GA: For An Ampora

EJ: _I guess..._

EJ_: But..._

MH:(^•o•^) BUT?

EJ:_ But eridan left me._

EJ: _Without saying anything at all._

EJ: _And..i guess im just really broken up about it_

TL: So+ what you are tellin' me Jester TL: Is that yo+u let yo+ur red quandrant just walk o+ut the do+o+r because o+f a hunch o+f all things?!

EJ:_ Well..._

EJ: _I guess i realy didnt look at it like that..._ **:[**

MH: (^-Λ-^) PURRIM DON'T BE MEAN TO THE POOR LITTLE KITTEN

TL: Well it's true isn't it?

MH: (^._.^) I DIDN'T SAY IT WASN'T TRUE

GA: Jester, I Do Believe You Could Have Put Up A Much Better Fight

EJ: _Yeah..._

EJ_: Probably._

EJ: _Im the biggest freaking loser *ever*._

TL: I'm just go+ing to+ sto+p this pity party befo+re it even begins TL: Jester, yo+u agree that what yo+u did is stupid right?

TL: So+ let's fix it

MH:(=^•ω•^=) HOW?

GA: You Could Pressure The Ampora's Into Having The Party

GA: Right Muelin

MH:\ (=^•ω•^=)/ WITH NEP'S HELP

MH: (=^•ω•^=) PROBABLY

TL: O+h I like ho+w yo+u think Kanaya!

TL: No+ wo+nder yo+ur my dancesto+r ;)

TL: Yo+u and I sho+uld wo+rk o+n getting the guests to+ fish bo+y's dream bubble.

TL: That jade human wo+uld pro+bably help us o+ut.

GA: Agreed

EJ: _Wait._

EJ: _You guys are doing what now?_

MH: (=^ω^=) WE ARE HELPING YOU GET YOUR MATESPRIT BACK FUR SURE

GA: Won't She Need A Dress Though

TL: So+ will we!

GA: I'm On It :grimAuxiliatrix ceased trolling endenturedJester, to+ughLo+ver, and mewlingHearts:

:chat mode has switched from 'four-way' to 'three-way':

TL: Muelin, make sure EVERYO+NE kno+ws about this party!

TL: Ta-ta!

:to+ughLo+ver ceased trolling endenturedJester and mewlingHearts:  
:chat mode has switched from 'three-way' to 'private':

MH: (=^ω^=) DON'T WORRY A PURRTY LITTLE FUR ON YOUR HEAD JESTER

MH: (=^•ω•^=) WE GOT THIS

:mewlingHearts ceased trolling endenturedJester:


	22. Meenahstuck

Inuyashagirl312: Heh I love almost all Amporas (Cronus I begrudgingly like only cause he's related to Eridan) And I would trade any of my brothers for Jesse any day :3

darkgirl43255: I know right! X3

simplyVantastic: I'll make sure to pass the luck on!

Immortal Suicide42: Yeah Muelin and her are totes moirails, and the kismesis guess for her and Fefari is true too. But that's all I'm confirming~! (Though karkat and jesse would be cute together XD)

butterflykrp2: Oh cod I really want to get to the party chapter too! I hope I get there before January CX

* * *

"Well that did not go as planned."I muttered as I compiled a playlist for myself."But I suppose that only proves what those other kids at school said. I had to go to another world to make friends."

Though talking with Porrim, Meulin, and Kanaya did make me feel the slightest bit better, the weight pressing down on my chest didn't budge. I sighed, and picked myself off the couch. Taking the handle of my sword, I dragged it with me to the door. I alchamized another six cans of pepsi oxygen, downing the first one hungrily I kicked open my front door, sword sheath clipped around my waist. I walked through the wall of H2O, letting the icy cold engulf me. I sat down on the step, looking out into the sea.

Tears pricked at my eyes when I saw no vibrant purples. I was becoming more and more convince the sea was salty because of my tears than anything else. I hugged my knees to my chest, burying my head. Something barreled into my side, pushing me off the concrete and into soft, muddy sand. It pinned my wrists above my head and covered my mouth. I glared at her, recognizing the braids instantly.

"Remember me, beach?"Meenah sneered. I kicked her off, thankful that all this swimming had been good for something after all. I pulled out my sword, switching it to tranq. Purple erode off the blade in thin streams.

"I'd rather be a beach than a shore like you."I answered. My eyebrows rose, and my palm flew over my mouth. I momentarily forgot about that I should have been drowning right then and there. Meenah was as surprised as I was, frozen to the spot I had thrown her at. I got up, the sharp tip of my weapon trained on her the whole time.

"Hey, hey, hey. Lower the weaprawn, 'aight?"Meenah said, holding up her palms in defense. I lifted my chin up, hair floating in the current rather dramatically behind me.

"Krill me once, shame on me, krill me twice shame on you."

"Excuse me but tackling me to the sea floor wasn't very diplomatic of you."I countered, blade not budging an inch.

"Fine, fine. Be like word on the dunes is that you're the new SBURB playa. Is that true or ar eyou some beached jelly fish out of her mind?"

"Maybe I am, maybe I ain't. What's it to you?"

"Why are you so bitter?"

"Well, killing my brother right in front of me did NOT leave a good impression on me. And well, other shit's sort of personal."

"Whale... You don't know what you've caused. There hasn't been any fish for days. They all up and left except for a few whales. Us sea dwellers are starvin' you know?" I stuck my sword back into it's scabbard begrudgingly.

"Well, I guess I'm not I don't hate one of you Peixes anyways...But I guess...ugh I don't know why I'm even doing this-c'mon there's food inside my house. Jegus..."

**-NYAH-**

I fixed Meenah up with a shit ton of food, which she devoured in less time that took to cook it. I wasn't quite sure wether it was the awkardness of the silence or my friend-depravity that pushed me to pull out a bottle of alchol. It was probably because I expected to taste better. Meenah and I had to wash the taste out of our mouths with large strawberry milkshakes.

"Why do you keep on putting the food in your sylladex then taking it back out again?"Meenah asked."That's a little...weird don't you think?" I held up a list of captcha code for her to see.

"My food isn't going to last forever. And, according to you, most of your primary source of food is gone. I'll need something to eat later unless I suddenly beat the game in a very short time span of a month. Besides, "I swept the smashed bits of ice under the fridge with the rest of it,"it's sort of fun to smash a ton of crap without anything breaking."

"Ah."Meenah slurped up her milk shake."So what's with you and Ampora? The little one."

"Oh, well. You know..." I stared deeply into the cup in my hands, hoping the answer would bubble out at me.

"No. I don't. That's why I freaking asked."

"He saved me, frenched me, then left me. So I don't know what to tell ya."I said, downing a few gulps of the frosty pink goodness before slamming the half empty cup down. A few fuchsia drops landed on the back of hand.

"Frenched?"

"He kissed me using tongue."I clarified. Meenah's eyebrow could have flown off her face they were up so high.

"Yeah, you weren't expecting that kind of dirt were you?"I asked plainitively.

"Did you like it?"

"Yes. I liked it. I loved it in fact. But..."I sighed."I messed it up, big time."

"What did you do?"

"I kept quiet when I should have screamed. Gave the bad news before the good news."I sighed again, licking the droplets off my hand.

"So an Ampora almost had a quadrant filled? Damn, I never thought I'd live to hear THAT."

"You're not alive."I pointed out.

"True, true. So I guess that rumors true too eh? What about the party? That happenin' too?"

"If it all goes according to plan should be."

"Water you talkin' 'bout?"

"Never mind, not important." Silence hung between us both as I emptied my glass and shot it into the sink.

"Do you reely know everyfin about us trolls? I can't tell you how much Kankri has his panties in a twist over this."

"Well, trigger boy deserves that. But, let's put it this way, I know more about trolls than you guys ever will collectivly know about humans."

"What a load of seahorse chum."

"How are you and Karkat? Have you guys been on a first date yet?"

"WHAT? I mean, we are just reely good fronds is all."

"Do moirails on Alternia blush that when they talk about their moirails, or is that just some weird quirk of yours?"Meenah nervously laughed, then turned deathly serious.

"You tell no one." I smirked.

"Low blood's honor."Meenah glanced up at the clock.

"I gotta swim, Fef;s probably as hungry as I was. Hopefully I can scrounge somefin up. Thanks for the food homie." I blinked, expression blank as Meenah walked past me and out the door. I'd never been someone's homie before. No sooner than Meenah had exited, Jesse entered.

"Alysen?!"He shouted anxiously. I casually sauntered into the living room.

"Yeah?"

"There's more. A lot more. Get your sword-hurry up!"he urged as I scrambled for my strife specibus that had been lying on the couch in weight. I glugged down pepsi oxygen as I swerved sharp metal corners. This should get interesting.


	23. Bridgestuck

simplyVantastic: Damn straight CX

Inuyashagirl312: you're caught up now :D thanks X3

Donut Yang: Totes :D

Kaylee: Lol I like your unintentional pun XD Party is happening soon I promise!

Genesis: :D I love u too X3

* * *

Backs press together, my brother and I were surrounding by giant maws, and claws longer and way sharper than Jesse's. As more gathered, they sealed us in a thick sphere of glittering eyes and darkened scales. I blocked out hauntingly low growls and high pitched screeches with random song lyrics. If I thought before was bad, this battle was eight times worse. As it all dragged on, I ran out of musical thoughts. Forgotten feelings bubbled to the surface and delivered power and stamina to my sore muscles.

Anger directed at my parents for never really leaving me. I was really nothing more than a pet. No, worse, a failure in the most literal sense. I had worked hard to please them. A's in most of my academics, leading positions in almost everything I signed up for. I even paid for my own art classes so that I could get better at drawing. At the time I had thought I was doing it because I like it, but really I just wanted to be accepted. That was what I craved now.

Depression and numbness was forced out in every slash, every stroke, every swing of my blade. My head became clear. I could think straight once more, and all foggy thoughts disappeared. Only one question stood out as the smoke cleared and the mirrors were shattered. Was what I felt for Eridan really appropriate?

He had locked me in a jail cell for three days with no food, no water. He was only brash enough to kiss me when he was drunk. When I had to show him reality, he walked away from me. He was so childish. I had heard about Stockholm syndrome. It implies when you are kidnapped you might feel sympathetic towards your captor, love him even. Was that what I had?

No. No that wasn't it. I loved Eridan. That love is real. I'm just too afraid to admit it. Porrim was right, I had pushed him away. I finally had a taste of what it was really like to be loved, to be wanted. Not the artificial love that everyone else had offered to me.

Oh god what I'd do to tell him that I loved him. To kiss him again. To apologize for being so freaking stupid. I'd go to that party, I would search this whole fucking sea three times over if I fucking had to. But what if he left already? Gone to a different dream bubble? Their subs could travel to different bubbles right? I had to look for him! Panic and anxiety bounced around inside my chest, quickening my movements drastically I had to hurry this up or I'd never have enough time before the party. Eridan would leave wihtout ever knowing how much someone loved him. How much I loved him.

"Are you alright Alysen?"Jesse asked between attacks.

"Yeah. I'm better than I have been in a while."I answered, delivering a broad swipe at a particularly terrifying monster.

"You seem sort of, I don't know, worried."

"Not like you think I am."

"Where's fish boy?"

"He left."

"Oh. Aren't you, like, sad?"

"No. I'm going to see him again soon. What do you think I am? Some sort of over bearing girlfriend or something? Speaking of girl friends, do you like Fefari?"

"Why are you asking something like that NOW of all times?"

"You asked about Eridan."

"Yes, but I didn't ask something like THAT."

"Whatever fish stick, don't tell me." Soon the sphere started to open up at the top the slightest fraction of an inch to reveal the warm rays of the setting Alternian sun. That small ray of light forced me to acknowledge the time, something I thought I didn't seriously care about at the start of the day. I had only one more day to find Eridan and attend the party. If I could have sighed, I would have. I flicked the switched for electrocute.

Lightning course through my bones, I heard my brother scream but I did not switch it off. My nerves all screamed in unmerciful pain. Bubbles exploded out of my mouth in a screech and I had to forced my thumb to comply with my brains demands. I flipped the switch. The white stuff floated around my flailing limbs. Nothing was complying to my need for air. I hit muddy sand, bright white light surrounding me as my vision faded to a dark, dark black.

-NYAH-

_Princess please calm down! Your physical self can't be lost! She is in a dream bubble if you recall! Most things in dream bubbles can't die! Besides the Angel of Color and Hue is watching your physical self. Ain't no thang!_

I tried the wipe my tears of worry and pain away, but they were instantly replaced. The angel draped a pale, ivory arm around my shoulder. A very comforting gesture.

_At least she procured a mountain of nova for us, right? Hey if we finished today, we could work on your dress, would you like that?_

I smiled, then nodded, proceeding to center myself in the middle of the twelve orbs. I took a deep breath as the Angel of Voice and Dreams handed me the first string. This time my eyes remained open and I marveled at the speed and agility of my fingers. I was amazed at how little thinking I had to do, almost all the work was placed on my instincts.

_As long as you don't break a nail while doing it, linking the bubbles together is extremely easy. For those who are meant to do it of course._

I passed the light blue orb, the spring green, the evergreen, the yellow, the orange, the rust red. I ran out of nova chord right before I could finish building a bridge from the knight's to the witch's. I glared at that slightest measure that kept me away from my dress. I wanted to smash all the orbs and the bridge connecting them into a thousand tiny shards. I glowered at the end with such intensity the angel pulled me away.

_Control your anger!_

I snapped out of my trance at her sharp, loud words.

_There is nothing you can do now, so stop fretting over it this instant. Seriously, such behavior is embarrassing for royalty._

I stared at my bare feet.

_Fine, I get it you're sorry. Let's move on already._

The angel grabbed my hand and forced me to look at the witch's dream bubble.

_Here's the good news, with our bridge construction going on, the prince's vessel cannot leave the witch's bubble. The bridge has to be finished in order to be traveled on so he basically stuck there. Noe here's the bad news. The bubble's expanse is no longer infinite, thus most of the lesser life, such as fish or pets or whatever, has left. Anything larger than, say , a whale couldn't have left. Most life has either went to the Prince's or Knight's because they are the nearest bubbles._

_This will forced some interaction between all twelve bubbles to use the bridge, something we want to happen. If the bridge is not used enough it will collapse. Now, hopefully the Serf of Space has been complying with his duties as well. I'm not exactly sure what those duties entail but, the end product is to force the humans and trolls bubbles into one large bubble. Why the guys up top think that's a good idea, we'll never know. But at least it keeps us busy and out of their way._

* * *

Hate to be all beggy n' stuffs but I put up a poll for what one shots you guys want to see\read first if you could vote I'd be totes happy :D


	24. Dressstuck

Donut Yang: tee hee hee i can't say 3:)

simplyVantastic: it keeps looking like that we will more and more :D

Kaylee: I sea what you did there ;) and that was based off of something I dreamed about and it just looked so cool I wanted to write it down beore I could forget :)

Inuyashagirl312: It'll be coming up soon I promise!

butterflykrp2: Really? :D C:

* * *

I spat salty water out of my mouth, bolting up out of my covers. I clutched my stomach and turned to the side, bile streaming out after it. I fell back onto my mattress. Jesse appeared in my door way, holding a bucket.

"Guess I was a little late huh?" he asked when he saw the contents of my stomach emptied on my bedroom floor.

"DUDE."I yelled.

"What?"

"PUT THAT-THAT THING AWAY. GEEZ. SERIOUSLY. IS FEFARI OVER OR SOMETHING?"

"The bucket?"

"YES. PUT IT AWAY."

"Why don't you like buckets?"

"BECAUSE THEY ARE SEXUAL OBJECTS. NOW. PUT. IT. AWAY."

"How are they sexual?"

"OH MY GOD JUST CHUCK IT OUT OF THE WINDOW ALREADY."

"Fine, fine, fine."Jesse drop kicked it down the stairs."Happy?"

"Very."I answered, crossing my arms over my chest.

"This game must be messing with your state of mind or something."Jesse told me, shaking his head.

"Yeah. Whatever helps you sleep at night."I threw the blanket covering my legs off and got off the bed, careful to avoid the mess I had made.

"So I take it you're fine now?"Jesse asked, leaning against the door frame.

"Yeah."

"Good."He commented, then pointed at my mess."Clean that up before you do something else crazily weird." I watched Jesse's back as he turned to leave. I stuck out my tongue defiantly, then waved it off. I gathered a few towels from the bathroom, then threw them over the puke spot. I threw myself onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Three soft rasps on my window made me throw a glance at it. I pressed my lips together to keep my jaw from dropping.

A girl, probably the same age as I was, waved ecstatically from the other side of the glass. She had no mouth or nose on her face. Just a pair of eyes constantly changing their color. One moment the bloodiest shade of red, the next an impossibly bright blue. Snow white hair billowed from her alabaster face. She mimed opening the window. I reached out and undid the latch, pushing it open.

She entered and my eyebrows shot up as her hair kept floating. My fingertips brushed her flawless skin. It was dry. The girl kneeled at my feet, offering up a small velvet pouch. I gently took it from her, peering into it. It was the shiny white stuff the monsters had kept dropping. I stuck my nail into it, causing all of it to disappear. I frowned and looked back at the girl, who stared at me expectantly.

"Thanks."I said, smiling. The girl's eyes jumped to neon colors, almost shining they were so bright. She suddenly rose to her feet and threw a white sheet over me. The moment it settled over my head, it started to dance and wriggle about.

It slipped under my bikini top that I never had time to remove, and stretched over my stomach. It crawled under my bottoms, making me feel horribly violated, then wrapped tightly around my legs and ankles. The top edges elongated then circled my arms down to the wrists, completing a unitard of white. My black bikini fell to the ground, leaving me pretty sure this qualified as rape.

"What the hell are you-"The girl pushed a cold finger against my lips, quieting me. She took a few steps back, studying me. I crossed my arms over my chest self consciously, face heating up. I noticed the girl herself was wearing a tarnished tee shirt and ragged cargo shorts with lots of pockets, and looked like she hadn't eaten in a long while.

Maybe she was a part of the game. Or another one of my parents experiments that hitched a ride with the house. She pulled out a black pencil from one of her shorts pockets. If it was possible for a pencil to look lethally sharp, that's how I would have described it's point. My body stiffened as she drew a quick dash on my left shoulder. The fabric slipped off my arm and fluttered to the ground liking the flag they wave at races.

The girl's hands were a blur to me as they marked certain places on the fabric. White cloth fell to the ground like snow. The black pencil was replaced with a blue one. I relaxed as I saw it had a much duller point than the previous She shifted her weight away from me to give me a once over.  
Satisfied with her work, she gently made long, precise strokes along the bottom hem line of the fabric. When she finished, I watched the blue streaks dissolved into the white. Instead of the fabric being taut against my skin it loosened, the leggings joining together in a beautiful flowing gown.

The girl's eyes sparkled green-blue, then glittered purple as she pulled out a red marker. She scratched out something in a foreign language over my torso. Her clumsy scribbles sifted through the white material, the rough cotton turning silky smooth as it went. Tucking the marker away, she dug through several pockets to produce a vial of almost clear liquid that changed with her eye color and a paint brush.

Popping the rubber stopper off the vial, she dipped the tip of her brush into the liquid. Starting from my neck line, I could feel the individual bristles of the brush as she painted intricate patterns onto the white fabric. She took her time with this step, sometimes even backing away from me to check her work.  
Finishing up the final curl on the dress, she collected the rest of the material off the floor. The girl swept all of it up into a nest pile, then scrunched the scrap in between her palms to create two brilliantly white cubes identical in size. She sat down, stuffing the now empty vial and dirtied paint brush into her pocket. She undid a button on the pocket near her knee cap, pulling out a black ink pot and a feather pen.

Though hidden from my view, I saw mirrored movements happen on the other cube. I gave up on my curiosity and watched a rough sketch of what resembled a shoe appear on the white block. As it became more and more developed, the cube started to take the shape of the black ink on it. I looked at the pair of strappy high heels enviously, thinking they were for the girl. I was flabbergasted when she offered them up to me to try on, even more so when they fit on my feet perfectly.

"What are you exactly? Don't get me wrong, loving the outfit, I just wanna know."The girl rubbed her palms together furiously, then pulled them away from each other. Angel of Color and Hue.

"Aren't hometuck angels supposed to be a little...less pretty?"I asked."You know, no face snake body?" She pointed at herself then pointed to the ground.

"You're low?"I asked. She nodded, then making snaking gestures with her arms then pointed up.

"And the ones I'm thinking of are high?"The angle nodded again.

"Welp, didn't think angels used drugs, but whatever."I said, shrugging.


	25. Invitestuck

butterflykrp2: ^w^ thank you so much!

Guest: IKR HOW INDECENT!

Guest: d'aw thank you ^_^

Sweden's husband: Ah it's okay, I did have a good Christmas thank you ^_^ since it's sort of late to wish you one Happy New Year's!

* * *

I wasn't sure if I pissed the angel off or what, but she made a hasty retreat into the ocean after my little druggy remark. I awkwardly stood in the middle of my room for a little while, not quite sure what to do next. I spotted the Ultimate Computer sitting on my desk. I reached out and grabbed it, finger tips hovering over it's glassy black screen. Then an epiphany struck me on the head.  
SBURB was a game. Games could be hacked. I knew how to hack. I have a lot of hacking equipment. If I hacked it correctly, I could find Eridan.

"Thank you, brain!"I exclaimed."Who'd thought you'd be useful?"Did I just call myself stupid? Oh well. Don't care.

I tapped on the SBURB icon on my desk top, then clicked the 'hack' option. I whistled as I saw the commands list. Every other one was in English the rest rotated languages. My eyebrows raised as the white text shifted from German, to Alternian, to Chinese to Spanish I minimized the page and pulled up my favorite play list. This was going to take a long, long while.

**-NYAH-**

Sweat dribbled down the side of my face, but I didn't trouble myself to wipe it off. Patience wasn't a particular virtue I put stock in, hence an unrealistic rage boiling inside of me. I glared at my progress, swiping away my fading purple bangs form my line of vision. My stomach begged me to stop, but I was so close. So, so close. From random check-ins with Porrim and Meulin, I'd learn that the party was definitely tonight. I only had a few more hours, which pressured me just that much more to breaking the game's binary code.

I had accessed Eridan's individual session information, but with all the random lingual problems, it was hard to make sense of any of it. From what I had jotted down already, Eridan was back in his bubble, but I still couldn't get an exact location. Time was a cruel bastard, and I was running out of it quickly.

**-NYAH-**

I got up off my bed and paced the length of my room for the fourteenth time. I grumbled under my breath incoheritantly, cursing this damn game for all it was worth. I didn't have anymore time to screw around with this. The party was happening NOW. I leaped onto my bed once again, staring at the screen for a moment before bashing it against my forehead in exasperation. I mashed my palms into the surface, really getting into my psychotic tantrum. A shower of sparks rained down on my head and light erupted from my walls. I threw my arms up over my head, curling my legs into a protective ball.

_Good thing the Angel of Color and Hue showed up with that nova, huh Princess?_ A voice echoed and bounced at the walls. I wanted to open my eyes, but the intense brightness would have probably blinded me.

_Oh. You're her physical self? Well best to keep you clueless anyways. I'll just finish the bridge quick and you can be on your way._

I heard the woman shuffle, and the twinklings of something being woven. The woman sighed then snapped her fingers, and the light died away. I cautiously opened my eyes, squinting. My room now seemed excruciatingly dark compared to the light it possessed a few seconds ago.  
I stared at the waves lapping at my window, begging me to let in their spray. I got to my feet and peered out at the surface of an ocean. A siren blared as I spotted a red light under the water begin to rise. My eyes traveled to a shore line filled with well dress trolls. It was hard to tell who was who from this far away, but I wasn't too worried. I had made it to the party on time, and that was what really mattered in the end.

How exactly was I supposed to get from my house to the Ampora's sub again?

"DAMN IT ALL TO FUCKING HELL."I screeched, shaking with fury.

"Uh, sis?"Jesse asked, poking his head into my room."You okay? And where the fuck did you get that dress?" I slumped against the wall.

"Nowhere."I sighed."How are we going to get to the sub from here?"I asked, though I wasn't expecting an answer from him.

"What sub?"Jesse shuffled to the window."Well then! Did you break reality again or is this some sort of a mirage?"

"It's the Ampora dream bubble. They're having a party, but now I can't go cause we're stuck here."

"Aw naw, man, you serious?"

"Pretty shitting serious brah."

"That's bro to you, brah."

"Wait, do you hear that?"

"What?"Jesse bristled, sending a worried glance over his shoulder.

"It's...me,"I whispered in fake awe, widening my eyes for effect," not caring."

"That was pretty cold." Jesse said, lightly flicking my forehead.

"Psh, it was so cold it was arctic."I agreed, nodding my head.

"Like I haven't heard that one before."

"Yeah... I'm just going to go alchamize a new computer. This one burnt out slash flipped it's cyber-shit on me."I turned the Ultimate Computer over in my hands, ash rubbing off on my fingers.

"I thought you wanted to go to the party."

"I don't have a way to get there, so."I shrugged, agitated.

"Aren't you going to even try?"

"Procrastination in my friend. Best friend in fact."I stated, capturing my sub woofer in my sylladex.

"In other words, you're giving up."Jesse said.

"Precisely, mon freur."I replied, pushing past him int othe hallway.

"Why so easily?"My brother persisted, following me down the stairs."Isn't Eridan there?"

"I should think so, it being his sub and all."I replied curtly, winding through the maze of cruxite to find the correct one.

"Don't you want to see him?" I lifted one up to reveal the Ultimate Computer's punch card. I swiped it off the smooth blue glass.

"Yes. I want to see him. Very badly."I answered, punching in the subwoofer's captcha code.

"Which, ladies and gentlemen, pulls this conversation full circle. Why are you giving up so easily? Are you waiting for an invitation or something?" My fingers fell away from the keys.

"Jesse, there isn't a way to get to his god damn submarine!"I yelled at him.

"Stop being so difficult and ask for help!"He yelled back. I gritted my teeth in annoyance and returned to jabing in the code into the Designix. I pulled out the card in a huff.

"I don't need anyone's help."I said as calmly as I possibly could, watching the cruxite dowel form.

"Yes you do."My shoulders slumped.

"Fine. Then how do you propose I get there? Teleportation? Magic?"I asked menacingly, plucking the cruxite off the stand and lugging to to the Alchmitzer.

"Well in this game I understand those two options are not unheard of. But I was thinking something I a lot simpler."

* * *

Subwoofer+Ultimate Computer= Mach 2

* * *

"What did you have in mind?"I asked him, pulling the Mach 2 off the platform.

"Heh, you'll find out."


	26. Partystuck

Donut Yang: I know right I had to wear a jacket while writing it X3

butterflykrp2: :D I hope you like this chapter :3

* * *

A few minutes later, I was outside, riding the waves on my brother's back. My shoes in hand, I tried to take up as little room as possible. It was sort of like surfing, though I can't be sure, I've never actually surfed before. Sea spray made my hair gently curl and sparkle with it's droplets. My eyes were trained on the nearing submarine and the passengers climbing onto it's haul and down the hatch. More and more faces came into focus, some trolls waved to me, though I couldn't wave back. Meulin, Nepeta, Porrim, and Kanaya cheered me on form the shore line, waving their arms like no tomorrow. I carefully tucked the Mach 2 under my arm.

"I'm coming guys!" I yelled, cupping my hands around my mouth.

"Hurry!"Meulin screamed back. I smiled a mile wide, excitement building in my gut. Soon Jesse pulled into the beach, Porrim, Meulin, Kanaya, and Nepeta were the only ones still standing in the sand. Jesse, breathing hard, chucked me off his back.

"You better,"he panted,"never ask me, for a favor, ever, again." Jesse plopped himself onto the wet sand as I picked myself off of it. I was thankful the grains slid right off the material of my dress, not leaving any notions that they were there in the first place.

"May I inquire where you purchased that dress? It looks quite lovely on you."Kanaya asked.

"Purrfect!"Nepeta and Meulin chimed in.

"Fabulous."agreed Porrim with a nod of her head.

"Really?"I asked, twirling t show it off just a little more. Spaggetti straps, never jarred from their place, held up an ankle length dress. A long cut on the left side, stopping about mid thigh, made room for ample movement. A half note that changed colors with the light was printed over my stomach, and inverted curls were wrapped around my torso. A flame like pattern decorated the hem line.

"I like your guys's dresses much better."I said.

"Aww, thanks!"cooed Nepeta, blue tail curling. I thought that was just for show... I wondered. Nepeta ha a much shorter dress than I did, about knee length. It was a really cool shade of spring green, and the dress seemed as bubbly and bouncy as she herself was.

"You really think so?!"exclaimed Meulin. Her's was about as long as Nep's was, though fashionably shredded along the bottom instead.

"Why thank you."Kanaya said, curtsying a little. Her's was as long as mine was, made out of a dark green velvet material with thick, black silk straps. Porrim struck a pose, modeling the dress for me.

"Thank you darling!" Porrim's gown mirrored the dark green color of Kanaya's, though made out of a more shiny material that I couldn't place my finger on. It didn't have a back and had the same slit along the leg as mine did.

"Who's that?"Meulin asked loudly, pointing to Jesse.

"My brother."I answered."Now c'mon, let's go already!" I tried to calm my bouncing insides long enough to casually walk beside Meulin and Porrim but failed. I ended up right beside Nepeta, squealing about our similar ships. I awkwardly scrambled up the side of the sub with my heels and computer in hand. Then I jumped through the haul, not bothering with the ladder. I slipped on my shoes, tottering on them for a small while before getting the hang of it. I booted up the Mach 2 in wait for my friends. They climbed down soon after my desktop popped up. I almost dragged them to the source of indistinct murmurings.

All eyes were on me as I walked through the door way, most noises stopped. I froze, not used to the attention then scanned the crowd for a familiar purple lock. My heart fell, not seeing it. Maybe he'll show up later? I sighed then tapped the screen of my Mach 2, making music blast out of it. I switched it to speaker mode, turning it into the shape of a sizely amp, then set it down against the nearest wall. I turned back around, a Faygo bottle was thrust at my face.

"Wanna slam a cold one with me sis?"Gamzee offered, voice gravely and tough. I smiled, accepting it.

"Bet I can chug it before you can."I challenged as I spotted another Faygo in the troll's hand.

"You're on!"

**-NYAH-**

After the chugging contest with Gamzee (which I won), Meulin dragged me to the dance floor. She showed me some Alternian moves, and I taught her how to Gangnam style. Then Porrim introduced me to Mituna and Latula, then pulled me back to the dance floor. I had at least eight different dancing contests with Vriska before I had to sit down for a little while.

"So you're back."Cronus asked, handing me a cup filled with a light pink liquid and ice.

"I'm here for Eridan."I admitted, accepting the drink."Do you know where he is?"

"Probably in his room, Dualscar wvasn't too happy with him as you can imagine." I nodded, staring into the cup.

"Sorry about that..."I said, taking a tiny sip."I just...didn't have the answers you guys wanted back then."

"You implying you havwe them nowv?"

"Well, I know how my blood turned purple, but not why. But that's it."

"That isn't vwery helpful you knowv."

"I know it isn't."I replied, downing half the pink liquid. It sort of shifted flavors, or maybe it was a mix of them. Bubble gum and strawberries maybe? No. Definitely cherries and cotton candy.

"What is this?"I asked him. Cronus crossed his arms and gave me a weird look.

"You mean you never had it before?"

"No. Cause, you know, I'm human, come from Earth. Cultural differences."

"Wvell, then, maybe it's best if you don't knowv."I raised my eyebrows and gently stuck the plastic cup onto the table.

"Yeah, I'm definitely not thirsty anymore. So is Eridan ever coming out to the party or is he ,like, grounded or something?"

"Eh, he'll come out if he wvants to. Little shrimp can't be couped up for much longer."

"Oh." An expanse of silence settled between me and Cronus. He cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"So...you look hot in that dress."

"You look pretty cute too."I returned the compliment. I wasn't truly lying, the purple dress shirt and jean combo was something Cronus could pull off.

"Really?"he asked, tugging at his lapel. I nodded, hoping that my smile was sincere.

"So you're the new SBURB player I presume?"Kankri bellowed, making me turn my head towards him. His candied red tuxedo, as bright as it was, seemed very bland. Probably so he didn't trigger anyone.

"And you're Kankri Vantas, correct?"I asked, rising out of my seat.

"Kan-"

"I am terribly sorry. Is Cronus,"Kankri leaned in close to whisper,"triggering you?"

"No. I'm fine, really. So where's Karkat? Insomnia still getting to him?"

"No, my descendant luckily was able to accompany me to the party tonight. I'm not very assured about is where abouts. He made it quite clear I am not allowed to be near him. Does insomnia refer to his sleeping conditions? Honestly humans need to think about the cultural differences between Alternia and Earth before bringing up such a homo sapien medical term such as insomnia. You could risk triggering many people due to your cultural indifference and ignorance."

I spotted Dualscar starting to enter the party and keeping Cronus's words into mind, I quickly excused myself form Kankri's lecture and threw myself into the thick of it all. But I wasn't fast enough, Dualscar had spotted just enough of me to be suspicious and follow suit. I dodged the pirate's line of sight repeatedly, side stepping through the crowd of dancing trolls while occasionally moving my hips or waving my arms to make it seem like I was just dancing. Not standing out was key to not drawing attention.

After a while, I felt relieved to see Dualscar's horns disappear from the room. I made my way back to my seat, all the dancing and evading had drained all my energy for the night. I quickly finished off the strange, pink Alternian drink without a care for what it was. I slumped in the metal folding chair, feeling both pleasantly bubbly and comfortably chilled. I surveyed the room again, still on the look out for any dyed hair. I sighed deeply, not finding it. Maybe I should just go home. I thought.

I rose to my feet, though unsure on how I was supposed to get back to my house. I headed towards the exit, then halted. I wasn't sure if maybe he sensed that I was becoming more and more desperate for him, or maybe, he just wanted to see what was making all the noise. But I didn't care, he had shown up.

"Eridan."I whispered.


	27. Dubstepstuck

Donut Yang: *snaps fingers in a Z formation*

Kaylee: Let me in there e-o

simplyVantastic: I know right XD

Immortal Suicide42: d'aw okay, just because you are just so awesome...

butterflykrp2: heh, hope I don't disappoint ^-^

* * *

I fight the burning desire to run into Eridan's arms with all my might. His hair was messily slicked back like someone had to force him to put the gel in. Dressed in a violet tuxedo top and white pinstriped black dress pants, he looked sort of like a hipster aristocrat. Though it was weird not seeing him in a scarf or cape. I spied a white coral corsage pinned to his lapel, and another in his hand. Eridan nervously looked around the room before spotting me.

I controlled myself and walk over to him, my face turning a brilliant shade of red. I glanced at his white eyes, but then batted the detail away, I couldn't lose my resolve. I didn't even give him a chance to say hello, wrapping my arms around his neck. I brushed my lips against his, testing it out, then dared to press the faintest bit harder. I forced myself to pull away to gauge his reaction. Eridan blinked a few times, clearly dazed. Then he seemed to catch on, blushing a fierce shade of grape that rivaled my crimson.

"So...um... Th-this is for you!" He stammered, placing the alabaster coral in my hand. I fumbled with it, trying to stick it on my dress but the dress itself seemed to be avoiding the sharp point.

"Here, let me help." Eridan took it away from me, blush fading. He tucked it in my bangs to pull them away from my face, twirling it up into my curls to make sure it stayed put. A slow song came on, and Eridan offered his hand to me. I took it and I was led, once again, to the dance floor.

"I actually havve no idea howw to sloww dance."Eridan admitted.

"It's okay, I'll show you how." I took his hands and placed them on my hips and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I whispered instructions into his ear, ignoring all the times he stepped on my feet. I rested my head on his shoulder in complete bliss. This could possibly be the best moment of my life, ever. Period. Too quickly the soft notes of the slow song were replaced by a bass drop and wubs.

Damn you dubstep.

Damn you to_ HELL._

Most trolls gingerly returned to the dance floor with confused expressions like they have never heard this kind of music before.

"Don't you guys have dubstep on Alternia?"I shouted to Eridan over the quickening beats.

"No, not really!"he shouted back."Wwe don't havve a lot of vvariation for music like you humans."

"Oh. Well I'm glad I could share my culture with you guys."I replied, twirling. Tavros tapped me on the shoulder and I stopped dancing for a moment.

"Yeah Tavros?"I asked, beaming.

"Well, uh..."Gamzee nudged him. I took notice of his absence of robo-appendages or wheel chair.

"I'm glad you have your normal legs back!"I commented.

"Erm, thanks.. But, uh, I was wondering if you'd, er, that is if you want to, sing? Like, some of your human songs? For us?"

"Oh... Well, I'm not the greatest singer ever... But if you'd really like me to, I suppose I could try."

"Really?"

"Yeah, who could say no to your mohawk? Totes adorbs dude."

"I told you she'd motherfuckin' do it bro!"Gamzee exclaimed, clapping Tavros on the back.

"Uh, do either of you got a mic or something?"I asked. Gamzee and Tavros exchanged looks.

"We thought you, uh, brought one with."Tavros confessed, looking down at his feet.

"Naw, it's okay, I'll just have to dial down the volume on the music is all."I assured them, waving away the problem as I made my way to the sound system. I regarded it with surprise as I spotted a wireless mic latched to the side.

"Or there is a mic and I am delusional."I muttered to myself, plucking it off the side of the blaring speakers. I knelt down next to the radio, searching for the usual cache of buttons every radio has. Play, skip, stop, pause. I rubbed the back of my neck, not finding any of them. There was just a dial for the volume, a power button, and an upside down L shape reading 'gamma' in tiny white below it. I squinted at it, trying to figure out where I had heard that before. Gamma, gamma, gamma. I chanted in my head.

"Wwhat are you muttering about?"Eridan asked, laying a hand on my shoulder."Are you all right?"

"Yeah."I said, nodding. Gamma, gamma, gamma...I knew I had heard it somewhere before. I jabbed at the upside down L and my music library projected a hologram of my music library in the air in front of me. I swiped at the air, scrolling the list down til I found You for Me by Terra Naomi. A song that I knew by heart. I flipped the switch on the sleek, silver microphone to on as the opening notes trickled out.

I belted out the lyrics like I was in my room instead of up in front of a twenty four trolls that may or may not judge me for my mistakes. I was amazed as I didn't waver on certain notes or trip over my tongue like I usually did. No, my performance was as smooth as silk and my voice could be described as angelic instead of off key. I felt my confidence building, self esteem rising. Once I finished, I beamed at the blast of applause hitting my eardrums.

Yeah, I was totally full of myself.

"That was great!"Tavros exclaimed.

"D'aww thanks."I said, rubbing the back of my head sheepishly.

"Here, you must be thirsty "Eridan interjected, handing me another cup of the pink drink, which I gulped down gratefully. The bubbly warm feeling buzzed in my throat, dulling my thoughts. More and more of the drink was offered to me and I couldn't refuse a single drop. And that was the last thing I could remember before being engulfed in a hazy darkness.


	28. Hangoverstuck

Donut Yang: GURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL L

butterflykrp2: Yep, she went Lalonde on us X3

darkgirl43255: XD

Immortal Suicide42: *drops jaw* oh my gog I can't wait to see it!

Kaylee: I know right she does seem to do that a lot XD

MadderthanaboxofFrogs: d'aww thanks X3

* * *

I groaned, head pounding and stomach churning. I started to pick myself off the ground. My palm flew over my lips as stomach acid crawled up my throat. I forced myself to swallow it all back down, making my esophagus burn and sting. The smell of sea salt, colenge, and fish attacked my nostrils, forcing me back down. I noticed an unnatural warmth in my arms.

I was wearing a skinny strapped dress after all wasn't I? I glanced down in horror. I was wearing nothing but Eridan's sweater and a bunch of scarves artfully knotted and wrapped around my waist and thighs like a mini skirt. I had no time before another migraine spilt my head in two. I clutched my skull, making pained mewls because I wasn't capable of making any noises louder than that. Bits and fragments of memory, not all nesascarily being form last night flooded in.

An angel with silver lips. Twelve rainbow colored orbs-the dream bubbles. A bridge made from thin chords of the white stuff I'd been collecting.

Cups and cups of the sweet tasting drink. Karaoke Dualscar. Too bright lights. My dress turning into a fluttering peice of fabric. Kanaya. Scarves and a sweater being wrapped around me.

I buried my face in my hands. Oh god. This is what it was like to die from embarrassment. I picked myself up off the floor again, leaning against the iron wall as the world swirled around me. The screech of the door being opened worsened my head ache.

"Good to see you are awake."Kanaya said upon arrival, gently as she could."And also sober."she noted.

"I'm going to ralph all over the floor pretty soon. Like, really soon."I replied, bile edging it's way back to my mouth. I took notice of her normal apparel, no more fancy dress, which assured me some time had past. This was sure to be one hell of a 'the morning after' story.

"Ralph...?" I forced my palm over my mouth again, some of the sickly ink acid trickling out before I could swallow.

"Oh, I see. By ralph you mean regurgitate your stomach acid. Interesting. Rose did not notify me of this term. I'll go get you a container for your bodily fluids."

"Hurry!"I called after her once she left, wiping my hand on the wall. I sooooo did not want to get Eridan's sweater dirty on top of everything else that happened. None of which I remember all too clearly. I surveyed the room, which just so happened to be my old cell with some improvements. For one there was a mirror, and the sheets on the mattress looked somewhat clean. I took baby steps towards the mirror.

The white coral hung limply in my hair, looking as depressed as a deflated part balloon. My skin looked pale and washed out, my eyes were in even worse shape. Blood shot and red, I remembered the goggle contacts, this time removing them. Surprisingly this cleared up the haziness that hung on the edges of my vision and lowered the puffiness slightly.

The rest of my face seemed okay, nothing too out of the ordinary. My eyes shot up and the bite mark located on the nape of my neck. I tilted my head to the side to get a better look at it. I traced one of the marks, not finding a scab. My face heated up at the realization that this was what someone would define a hickey as. I had a hickey! I rubbed self consciously at it, this was what those clique-y girls squealed and fantasized about their boyfriends giving them.

"A hickey and a hangover? Jegus I'm gunna have fun explaining all this to Jesse." I lamented. But who'd given me it? Probably Eridan, but... I squinted in concentration at my reflection. I wish I could remember all of it for sure. And just like that, a headache ripped up my cranium, and I collapsed with the surge of pain.

Nova. That's what the white stuff was. The angel of dreams and voice, that was the silver lipped angel's name. She was teaching me something, the bridge. Serf of Space... Assassin of Time... Why did that seem relevant to the gamma symbol on the Mach 2?

I rolled onto the mattress, slowly relaxing my body and bracing for the next rush of memory.

Eridan's room. His cape. I was messing with his cape. He said something, something that made me glomp onto him, pinning him underneath me. I swept the cape over his,no,our bodies like a sheet. I kissed him, straight up on the mouth. We got into it and he started to kiss my neck.

Kanaya laid a cold hand on my forehead, bringing me back to the world of the semi-living.

"You could be getting sick." She informed me, placing a bowl next to me.

"No, it's a hangover. I'll be better at some point today. No biggie." I assured the fashionista "But you're unreasonably warm. Are you sure?" I opened my mouth, about to answer when my stomach contracted again. I pulled the bowl closer, hoping that Kanaya was not seated in the splash zone.  
"Positive."I rasped, pushing the vile stench of vomit away from me."I was hoping if you'd help me make a timeline of last night. Even a vague one would help."

"Okay, tell me what you remember."

"The last thing I remember before everything going spotty is me singing. And then I kept drinking that pink stuff. What the hell was that?"

"Eridan mentioned it was coral blood, a sea dweller drink. Sort of like a punch. There are no side effects if a troll drinks it but..."

"Yeah, okay, that seems like sound logistics Anyway after a few rounds of-what was it called? Coral blood. I remember singing a bunch more times."I sent a cautious glance at Kanaya. She gave a slight nod, confirming it.

"Then I was in a super bright room with Dualscar. It was-I don't know-an interrogation I think."

"Yes, he came to check out what everyone was screaming about. He saw you and then took you out of the room."

"Okay. Then I remember kissing Eridan..."Could my face get any redder? Seriously I think it's medicinally impossible to get any warmer."And then there's a hole. The last thing I remember is my dress turning into a sheet of fabric and you wrapping me up in...this."I gestured to the skirt."I mean, it's pretty decent for a quick fix n' every thing, don't get me wrong. Totes stylish."Kanaya beamed at my praise.

"Thank you. Eridan made it quite clear he didn't see anything."She caught my expression."He wouldn't dare lie to me, I assure you."

"Oh yeah, I know he wouldn't but."I sighed."Well I guess I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to say to him really. Sorry for your dad interrogating me, the sloppy make out and the unplanned nudity?"I thought for a moment."Actually scratch the sloppy make out part. Drunk or not that's not something I'll ever be sorry for."

"You really do feel flushed for Eridan don't you?"

"Yeah..."I confessed wistfully."I was going to ask him to be my matesprit, you know, officially. But I can't remember if I ever did. I mean, I wouldn't want to ask him when I was drunk but I really did mean to ask. Since, you know, right atmosphere or some shit..."I sighed.

"You still could."Kanaya pointed out.

"I could but..."

"But?"

"It wouldn't be...special enough."

"He's special to you right?"

"Yes, completely and utterly. I just wanna show him how much he means to me. I'm not going to spill my life story like a sap, but no one's really loved me back on Earth. I'm not being melodramatic or anything it's just the truth. Even my lusus didn't love me. So I never really knew what it felt like to be special to someone and all that changed when I met Eridan. Oh god, that line. It's so over used and sappy. What is this? A shitty redcom?"

"Don't let Karkat hear you."I smiled an wrapped my arm around her.

"Thanks for listening to me rant. So where'd everyone else go?"

"They left after you 'arrest'. Meulin and Nepeta went off with out much of a fight. They said that 'they had no doubt that their ship would not sink'." I half smiled.

"Did my brother ever stop by?"

"About that..."I shot Kanaya a quizzical look."You hive, it isn't exactly..."she searched for the right wording."Present, as of now."


	29. Eridanstuck

Sweden's husband: I know right :O

MadderthanaboxofFrogs: heh thanks X3 I love your profile pic by the way! (I think Thor's way hotter but world domination is important, no? XD)

Kaylee: You can't fight the shippiness! CX

Fire Flower: Ampora fangirls for life! XD

* * *

"My house is...gone?"I asked.

"Yes, it seems that way."Kanaya answered.

"Well fuck this shit let's go find it!"I told her, getting to my feet."I can't wear a skirt for longer than two hours. It just isn't comfortable at all."

"Well Gamzee said that your brother dropped some clothes and various items at his hive before he woke up. Your brother probably knew that your hive was going to disappear."

"How? How could he know that?"

"Well, he was a sprite wasn't he? All sprites do have more knowledge of the game than we do."Kanaya pointed out.

"True, true-wait. Are you implying Jesse purposely stole my house to set me off on a perpetual goose chase?"I asked, totally curious about her conspiracy theory.

"Kind of?"

"Well. Shit. I don't mind being stuck with Eridan or anything but you guys don't really have any comfortable beds. This thing barely even qualifies as a RUG it's so uncomfortable."

"Maybe you could try to get accustomed to the sopor slime repurcurcoons?"

"Eh, sure, not like I have-wait. Yeah we are so off topic. Anyways, what should I do now? I could get the awkward encounter with the Amporas over and done with, or get my clothes or whatever from Gamzee's hive."

"Gamzee is currently awake, hence, he is not there. I assume he does not lock his hive, but I think breaking into his hive while he isn't present is a little..."

"Stalker-esque?"

"Precisely."

"Awkward encounter it is then!"

**-NYAH-**

"I don't think I can do this."I told Kanaya, poking my head out into the hallway. It was hard to tell where the Amporas were with all of even the smallest of noises ricocheting off the walls and back to my aching head. I was just sort of glad that the effects of my hangover were fading fast, the head ache and random flash backs however, were not. Not anytime soon.

"Yes you can."Kanaya assured me, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Nope. I think I will take the cowards way out and swim to Gamzee's hive. I'll risk my rep to avoid that much awkward."

"...Something just occur ed to me."Kanaya suddenly interjected.  
"What?"

"You never told me your name."

"Now that I think about it...I never told Eridan either."I replied, thinking it over."Thanks Kanaya for increasing the awkward bar for me. Seriously, this is enough awkward for a face palm times five combo here. But my name's Alysen."

"No last name?"

"Not as far as I'm concerned. Humans usually take the last name of their lusii, females change theirs when they are courted. I don't like my lusii and my lusii never liked me so end of story."

"Ah. Well, go tell Eridan your name. I'm not even going to make you speak to him about the party. Just tell him your name."

"You serious bro?"

"Yes."

"...Deal."

"You can not just scream your name from here."

"God damn you're quick."

"So I've been told."I sighed, then took a tentative step out into the hallway. I looked over my shoulder at Kanaya, who gave an encouraging nod. I drew a deep breath, delaying the inevitable My feet were heavy as I trudged towards where Eridan (probably) was-the library. I stayed pressed up against the wall upon hearing a rather loud argument.

"She can't stay! She's dangerous!"Yep. That was definitely Dualscar.

"She isn't dangerous, she hasn't done anyfin to hurt us at all!" Eridan?

"Well she ain't too trustworthy, she hasn't even told us her name!"

"Alysen."I whispered to myself, becoming more and more depressed."My name's Alysen."

"Just because wwe don't knoww her glubbing name-"

"Means we can't trust her! Did you know she fought a whole armada of the deadliest fish this sea had to offer? Not just once either, she did it THREE times. THREE Eridan! Doesn't that sound the slightest bit fishy to ye?"

"NO. I wwas wwith her one of those times-"

"WHAT?!"

"-and her brother wwas there too!"

"Like that made it any less dangerous!"

"She gave me a gun! It wasn't like I was unarmed!"

"She gave you a GUN? And ye just TOOK it from 'er?!"

"YEAH. Because she's not STUPID enough to endanger my life on a coddamn WHIM like that!"

"HA! Ye admit she's dangerous!"

"What? No-"

"Eridan. Just because she's pretty, doesn't mean you can be fooled into thinking she means no harm! Did ye know what she told me?"Silence."She told me 'er title. Eridan, she's a jester, and a princess. Those don't mix well together. She's a recipe for disaster, a threat to our after lives!"

"So?"Eridan prompted quietly."She reely wwants to be my gillfrond. No one evver-"

"That doesn't matter!"Dualscar snapped."Just because of yer guppy love doesn't mean-"

"It means evverything to me. That's wwhat matters. Maybe if you can't understand that I'll just leavve." Dualscar's voice softened.

"Eridan..."But it was too late, Eridan had already passed me by, barely giving me a second glance. I wasn't sure if he could see me anyways, I know I could barely make out his blurry figure. I resisted the urge to wipe his tears away. How could I take away his when I could barely bring myself to wipe away mine.

**-NYAH-**

I followed him into his room, I wasn't sure what possessed me to, but I did. I still refused to wipe away the tears streaming down my face, just the snot that started to flow with it. I was the dirtiest, filthiest piece of pond scum ever. I didn't want to touch myself, I didn't want to be myself, I never wanted to exist at all. I was overtaken with bone crushing guilt, depression, and self pity. Through my blurred vision I could sort of tell Eridan was captchalogueing a crap ton of his stuff.

"My name's Alysen."I offered in the same hoarse whisper as before. I stood rigid, hands balled into fists at my side, and tears dripping off of my chin. My nails dug into the skin on my palm, waiting for his answer. I couldn't form a single thought, none that I would want to dwell on anyways. It was starting to get harder and harder to breathe. Of all the times to get a panic attack...

"My name's Alysen."I said, a little louder, taking really, really short breaths as my lung contracted further. I felt like I was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. God, I was such a little wimp. It's a wonder why Dualscar thinks I, of all people, was a threat. Seriously. Passing out from someone not talking to me? Weak much? Suddenly, Eridan grabbed my wrist and led me out into the hallway. Though I still couldn't see much, it felt like he was leading me the same way Jesse had when he broke me out only a week ago.

"Ugh, land dwwellers. Wwhy the fuck are YOU crying for? Stop that."I wiped them away with my available hand, revealing a hatch and an empty room with a closed door.

"My name's-"

"I KNOWW."Eridan softened."I knoww."He rested his forhead against mine. It was pleasantly cold."I'm sorry you had to hear any of that, Alysen. Dualscar's just...not used to so much peace at one time. He's been jumpy n' paranoid for a wwhile noww. Its not his fault or anyfin..."He broke away from me and started to undo the latch.

"Wwhale I guess you're lucky you're stuck wwith me and not him."

"What?"

"We're gunna find your brother stupid. And also, your hivve."

"That'd be pretty convenient, yeah."

And then, he opened the door, letting in the setting sun's rays and the smell of sea salt. It felt pretty good to be me. Eridan climbed the ladder as some waves sloshed water over him, extending his hand for me to grab.

Yeah.

Pretty good.

* * *

Author's note: Thanks to all my reviewers for supporting and correcting me throughout the making of this fanfic! Totes love you guys forevs! :D I'll be making a sequel for this one involving the Assassin of Time and the Serf of Space for sure! But sadly it won't be for a while cause my friend is bugging me about making a story for our troll OCs and I've been toying with the plot for that for a little while now X3 But basicly here's a timeline of the next year (2013 already? Damn. .-. )

Febuary: I'll be workin' on my troll OC story while also maybe working on the sequel to this. MAYBE.

March: IGNORE ALL MARCH DRAG ERIDAN THINGS Q-Q (and Equius in drag because that's waaaaaaaay more scaring)and also, definitely working on the sequel fo' sho'.


End file.
